One Night
by jumpthenfall23
Summary: Autumn wakes up in a bed that's not hers. It's James Maslows. Autumn doesn't feel guilty about it at first, then reality starts to hit her- she doesn't love him and she may not see him again since he's filming a show. Can one night change her life?
1. One Night

Los Angeles morning light came through the window brightly, and I pulled the covers over my head as I groaned, not wanting to get up.

Since when did my bed smell like Axe?

And…why did I feel warmth, like body heat warmth, under the sheets?

I slowly pulled the covers down past my eyes, taking in the room before me. It definitely wasn't mine. The walls were a light cream color, and across the room was a black dresser, and on the wall to my left there were two windows, white blinds closed on them.

_Where the hell am I?_

I glanced over to the person who was lying next to me, and literally had to do a double take.

He was the absolute most gorgeous guy I'd ever seen, with tan skin and luscious brown hair that swooped across his face.

I wracked my brain for how I got here, closing my eyes to try and remember.

"Oh, _shit_," I muttered, probably a little too loudly.

It all came back to me at once.

I met him- James Maslow, the god lying next to me – at a huge party last night. I tried to remember if I had drunk anything, but I didn't have a headache or anything, so that means I either didn't drink anything at all, or had one or two drinks.

This was so weird.

I remember meeting him last night after we exchanged flirty glances for at least two hours. I was talking to some publishers, trying to schmooze them into reading some of my poems, a short story, _something_, and James was across the rolling yard, laughing it up and having a grand old time.

I was barely making it, and he had it all.

When we finally started talking, it was probably eleven, and I remember that cool breeze that blew across the grass.

We hit it off immediately, and I felt like I had known him my whole life. His laugh was adorable, and so was his smile. And, he had a nice body.

Hours later, the party was still going, drunken people dancing and all over the place, and since we were so absorbed in our conversation, we didn't drink anything. We were each other's intoxication.

It was probably one or two am when he finally made his move.

_"Do you wanna get out of here?" James asked, his breath hot in my ear, his hand moving down my arm. _

_I knew what he meant, and since he told me he was filming a TV show, I didn't know when I would see him next._

_ I wasn't the girl who slept around though. I was the sweet girl who you could ask for anything. But James was just so…amazing and I wasn't afraid to do this with him. And by his confidence, I could tell he wasn't either._

_I smiled a little and nodded, and James took my hand and we left the party and headed for his house._

And that would also explain why I was naked.

I didn't regret sleeping with James one bit, don't get me wrong. It was amazing, his touch like fire on my skin, his lips tasting enticingly sweet against mine.

But something almost made me want to vomit about this. I hardly knew this guy. I knew that his name was James Maslow and that he was filming a TV called Big Time Rush, and that he was from San Diego.

That's _it_. I didn't know about his childhood, or what his fears were.

I wasn't in love with him.

I felt my mouth go dry, and I wanted to smack myself for doing this. I just slept with a guy I wasn't in love with, a guy I may not see after this again.

I sat up, pulling the dark tan covers that reminded me of the sand on the beach up to cover my bare chest, and looked around for my clothes- a strapless bra, old pink underwear and a blue strapless dress.

Well, I didn't really know where my dress and bra were, but my underwear were sitting there on the dark hardwood floor. Right next to James' red button down. I picked them both up and slid my underwear on, and just held his shirt up over my chest as I got up and looked around the room for my bra and dress.

I found my bra first and I clasped it on and let James' shirt fall to the floor again. I found my dress next to it, and I stepped into it and started to pull it up.

"Leaving already?"

I jumped, and let go of my dress, which started to slid down.

"What the hell?" I said, looking over at him as I pulled my dress up over my bra again. "You scared the shit out of me."

James smiled a little as he sat up, and I know he didn't want to vomit like I did. Did he honestly not care that we weren't in love?

"Sorry," he said as I zippered my dress. "Why are you leaving so early? It's only, like, eight."

My back was to him now as I looked into his TV at my reflection to see how horrible I looked.

I felt my mouth and throat grow dry again, that sick feeling coming back. Why did I have to feel so constricted? Why couldn't I just be like any other girl and just accept that I was a slut, or freak out and pretend like this didn't happen?

I wasn't a slut because I didn't sleep around, and I didn't want to pretend like this didn't happen because I like it. _A lot._

"I have to get home. I have a meeting later," I lied.

I had nowhere to go, nothing to do today, but James didn't need to know that.

"How later?" he asked. I closed my eyes and ran my hands over my face.

"Ten," I said.

"Oh." I could hear the disappointment in his voice, and I couldn't take this. I turned around, my face serious.

"Why'd you ask me to come home with you last night?" I asked.

"It was actually this morning," James corrected.

"Just answer the question smart ass," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Because I like you. A lot."

I felt my jaw tighten. There was no way that was true. And now I was starting to regret this.

"No you don't," I said, disgusted.

"Autumn, yes I-"

"James, just stop. You don't. I don't even know why I agreed to come home with you last night," I snapped.

He looked hurt now, and I needed to get out. Like right now. I found my heels that were sitting on the floor, and sat down on the edge of the bed and latched them on, and in that time, James had found his boxers and pulled them on.

I didn't look back at him as I stood up and picked up my bag then slung it over my shoulder. I headed out of his room, then down the stairs as fast as I could go in three inch heels.

"Autumn!" James called as I walked down the last few steps, but I kept going. I opened the door, and summer air hit me hard, the sun and heat immediately making me hot. I walked toward my car, then dug through my bag for my keys.

"Damn it," I said after I realized they weren't in there. I turned and saw James walking toward me, wearing jeans and a random t-shirt, walking toward me with my keys in his hands.

I held my hand out and looked up at him, and his eyes caught mine. They were a mixture of confusion and want, and something else I couldn't figure out.

"Can I have my keys?" I asked.

"Not until you tell me why you lied," James said seriously.

"What?" I said, not wanting to admit that I actually did lie.

"You told me last night that no publishers would read your work."

"So? Just give me my keys," I said, trying to get them out of his hand, but he held them above his head, and I was not that tall. I rolled my eyes.

"So why would you have a meeting?" he asked, sounding extremely hurt. "Why do you just want to leave? You weren't even going to tell me were you? You were just going to leave without a word and I'd never see you again, weren't you?"

I looked down at the ground, and felt tears starting to push their way up to my eyes.

"Why did you agree to come home with me?" James asked now, his voice barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard before looking up at him, his hazel eyes seeming to shine brightly in the sunshine.

"Just give me my keys damn it," I snapped.

"Not until you tell me why!" he yelled.

"Because I like you, alright! I like you." The confusion didn't leave his eyes even though he got his answer, and I knew why.

"Then why were you just going to leave?"

"Because I don't love you," I said, somewhat coldly. "And I didn't think about that last night, but then I did this morning and now I regret it."

James dropped my keys, and they fell to the ground with a _clank, _but I didn't break our eye contact, and neither did he.

"So I was a mistake," he said.

"No. I didn't say that. I just shouldn't have let that happen," I told him. "We don't know each other. Like, at all, James. Are you telling me you're fine with one night stands? With meeting someone at a party and having sex with them and that's it?"

James just stared at me and swallowed, not saying anything else.

"I have to go," I lied.

"Right. Have fun at your meeting," James said sarcastically, then turned and walked away. I bent down and picked up my keys, then got in my car, throwing my bag to the passenger seat.

I turned the key and pulled out of his driveway and barely made it down the road before I started crying.

"What the hell?" I said to myself through my tears. "What's going on?"

When I got to my apartment a few minutes later, I dropped my bag and keys on the kitchen counter, and went straight to my bedroom. I ripped my heels off, then my dress.

I headed to the bathroom to go take a shower, and when I glanced at myself in the mirror, I noticed something that I didn't earlier.

Right under my left ear was a dark purple mark. My eyes widened.

James found my weak spot?

"Oh god," I groaned after I thought about something. What if I gave James a hickey?

The thought made me want to die- I marked him?

I couldn't look at myself anymore, and I took the last few steps to the shower and turned it on, the water sputtering for a moment.

I stepped in a moment later, and grabbed the bar of soap that sat in the little dish, and started scrubbing.

I had to get James off me. I had to get him off every inch of my body. If only I could wash that hickey off- but I can't.

I got out of the shower and put on a pair of denim shorts and a teal tank top before drying my hair. I had no idea what I was feeling.

**So, like it, hate it? Review and let me know what you think!**

**Anonymous reviews are welcome, and so are suggestions for future chapters and requests for stories. **

**And if you hate it, let me know why. I want to hear the criticism. It's something I look forward to as a writer.**

** I have no idea where this story came from, but I really like it, and I hope you do too!**

** Thanks for reading!**


	2. Annabelle's Party

**Reviews make me happy :)**

One week later-

"I wonder if I have his number," I said to myself as I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I was getting ready for a party and I stood in the bathroom, a teal party dress on. I hadn't gone to one since that morning I woke up in James' bed, or hardly gone anywhere. I was just afraid of some awkward run-in.

But honestly, I wanted to be friends with him. Get to know him better. I remember from last week how charming he was, and part of me wanted that now.

I just wanted to be friends. I wasn't looking for a relationship.

I walked out to the kitchen and dug through my bag for my phone. I figured I'd see if he was doing anything, and if he wasn't, I'd just invite him to come along.

_James Maslow._

I did! I hit send, then pressed the phone to my ear. I wonder if he had mine too, and if he did, would he even pick up?

"Hey, it's James. You know what to do," his voicemail said. I waited for the beep, thinking about what I would say.

"Uh, hey James, it's Autumn. I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a party tonight if you weren't doing anything else. Call me back if you wanna come. Bye." I hit end, then set my phone down on the counter.

What the hell was that? I thought.

I sighed, then finished getting ready before heading to the party. It was almost dark when I got there, and it was already pretty big. You're probably thinking it was like a friends party or something right? Well, not quite.

My friend, Annabelle Harp, was throwing this party, but I'm pretty sure she invited everybody in LA. She was the daughter of a powerful CEO of a major cell phone company, and was friends (and enemies) with everyone she met. She was one of my closest friends, and I was glad I came today. She always threw amazing parties, and I hadn't seen her lately.

"Autumn!" Annabelle squealed as I walked across the yard, almost twisting my ankle in my three inch heels. And I thought these would be easy to maneuver in.

"Annabelle!" I said as she pulled me in for a hug. She was wearing a skin tight dress that was white on the top and black on the bottom, with taller heels than mine.

"You didn't bring hottie LaMotte?" she asked, looking around.

"Well…" I said, embarrassed now.

"Oh god, what happened?" she said.

"As you know, I went home with him," I started.

"And? Did you do it?" Annabelle asked, excited now.

"Sh…yes, we did."

"Why are you upset about that?"

"Because I regret it," I said, looking down at the grass.

"Why?"

"Because I don't love him," I told her.

"Aud, you don't have to love a guy to sleep with them," she said, and I sighed.

"That's what you say, but I disagree. And it was a mistake."

"Alright, no more of this. Come on, we're dancing." She pulled me by my hand to a group of other people who were already dancing, and we joined them.

"Holy-" It was about an hour and a half later when Annabelle stopped dancing and looked past me. She turned me around, and sure enough, James freaking Maslow was walking toward me.

He came? I thought. He came!

"Hey," I said sheepishly.

"Hey," he said. "So, um, I got your voicemail, and I was wondering if maybe we could talk about the other day?"

This was my chance. I already knew what I wanted to say. I had decided before. I wanted to be friends.

"No," I said. James looked shocked, so I added "Let's dance."

And yes, friends can dance!

He smiled and agreed, and we took a few steps toward the dance floor, where everyone else was.

"You're a really good dancer," James said to me later that night. I had completely lost track of time between the music, the lights, and the way James was dancing against me. Okay, so maybe not so much dancing…more like grinding. But hey, it fell into the category.

"Thanks," I said, not quite sure of what else to say.

"So I was wondering…" he stopped, almost sounding like he didn't want me to hear the rest.

"Yeah?" I said, gesturing for him to go on.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a date sometime," he said. I almost stopped dancing. I couldn't believe it. The sexiest guy ever just asked me out. But I wasn't looking for a relationship.

Autumn, shut the hell up. Say yes. It's one date, I thought.

"Um, sure," I blurted out before I could change my mind again.

"Awesome."

He seemed satisfied with that, and throughout the night we just chatted, not taking anything too seriously. I was just glad that the other night didn't come up. I probably would have called off our date and left.

"So I guess I'll call you when I know I'll be off," James said to me as we walked out to my car.

"How long are you going to keep me waiting?" I asked suddenly, now flirting with him.

"Hopefully not too long," he said, flirting back. We reached my car a moment later, and we just stood there next to it for a moment.

"Well, I'll be waiting for your call," I said, pulling my sweetest face. God I was probably confusing him! I knew I was doing it to myself!

"And I hope I'll find out tomorrow," he said.

"Okay. Well, I should go," I told him.

Now it was where it got awkward. What did we do now? Hug, kiss, wave?

"Okay. See you later," James said, then took a step back as I opened my car door.

"Yeah, see you," I said. He gave me a small wave, and once I had my door closed and knew he couldn't see me, I made a face.

Well that wasn't awkward.

**So yeah, kinda crappy I know. But trust me, this is just getting started and I'll try to make future chapters much longer! But right now, I wanna post this for you guys and go to be because it's...1.43 am. Yep, goodnight fanfiction!**


	3. It's a Good Day

_As you walked away from me, I took a moment to take my surroundings in. The air was warm with spring, and I could feel the dew of the grass on my bare feet. You could've easily stayed. But you played these games, and I didn't want that._

_ I had to let you go. _

_ I'm sure I'll forget you in a few months, move on to someone new, someone better. But you- you won't get anywhere. That's disappointment in itself. _

_ I used to think all love stories had to end well._

_ You proved me wrong._

The publicist, Jenna Warwick, looked up at me over her glasses, giving me a look.

Oh, shit, I thought.

This couldn't be good.

I was here, at King's Crown Publishing, trying to get my book, _Prove Me Wrong_, published. I had been to five or six other ones, and they all said no. This one couldn't hurt worse than those.

Jenna, a middle aged woman with dyed brown hair, closed my manuscript and set it on the desk between us.

"Ms. Dawson," she started, straightening her look on me, her tone seeming bored. "You're a very talented young lady. But…"

Here it comes, I thought.

"But you haven't received a degree yet from your college-" She glanced down at the paper, trying to find out where I went to school.

"UCLA," I told her. "I'll be starting my third year in September."

"Ah, of course," she said. She looked at me and almost smiled. Almost.

Could this actually be good news?

"But I hope that's not a problem for you," Jenna said.

I gave her a puzzled look and said "Problem?"

"Yes. I absolutely love this book, Ms. Dawson. I think my company would be _very _interested in publishing it."

"Really?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. But, as you know by now, we have to decide on it. But I think there's a very good chance that this will be a yes."

"And why would this create a problem with my school?" I asked, still confused on that part.

"I just hope you don't mind possibly thinking about dropping out if this is a yes and it becomes popular," Jenna told me.

"Why would I need to drop out, though?"

"Because the readers would want more. You want to make money don't you?"

"Of course, but-"

"And to do that, you have to sell books. The same book won't sell and sell and sell. You need more material."

I sighed now. I loved school, I loved my writing classes, they helped me a lot, and I don't think my parents would want me dropping out.

"Right," I said. I smiled.

I might be getting a book published! I would worry about everything else later.

"Well, thank you so much," I added.

"You're welcome. We'll call you back within two weeks to let you know," she said. I stood up, smoothing down my gray skirt and picking up my bag.

"Okay. Thank you again." Jenna stood up also, then shook my hand.

"Yes, you're welcome," she said again. I turned to walk out of the office, and once I had the door safely closed behind me, I smiled and did a little victory dance.

I had been working on writing, editing and getting my manuscript printed for about a year now, and I was ecstatic that it was finally finished and may be getting published. As I stepped into the elevator to head down to the lobby, I pulled my phone out of my bag.

One missed call. Who could that have-

Eep! I squealed in my mind. James called me back! He was going to ask me out! This day just couldn't get better.

I hit send as I walked through the lobby, mouthing a _You too_ to the receptionist who told me to have a nice day. I slid my sunglasses on as the nervousness in the pit of my stomach grew.

It was a beautiful day in LA, the sun bright, the sky cloudless, and I was glad I wore a pink tank top without a jacket. Five points for me for making a good decision.

"Hello?"

I jumped, not even hearing the click.

"James," I said, trying to keep my voice casual. "It's Autumn."

"Hey," he said.

"Hey. Look, sorry I didn't pick up earlier. I was in a meeting."

"Meeting for what?" James asked.

"With this publishing company."

"Autumn, that's great!" I smiled, blushing a little as I got into my car. "Any news yet?"

"The lady told me I have a very good chance of getting my book published," I said, loving to repeat it.

"That just gives me another reason to take you out," he said nonchalantly.

"You wanna take me out?"

"Well of course," he said. "That's why I called. I'm getting off tonight at five, and was wondering if you wanted to go out."

"Out like where?" I questioned, flirting with him. James laughed a little.

"I was thinking dinner?" he said.

"How about you _make _me dinner," I suggested. He laughed again.

"Alright, I will make you dinner," he agreed.

"Great," I said. "What time do you want me to come over?"

"Seven good?"

"Seven's great," I said, smiling.

"Awesome. See you later."

"Yeah, see you." I hung up my phone, then set it down on top of my bag before starting my car and heading to my apartment.

I took a long shower after I got home, then specifically went through every article of clothing to find something I thought James would really like. Yep, I wanted to impress him.

After probably an hour, I finally decided on a blue strappy tank top with white polka dots, and a pair of white cutoffs, which showed off my tan.

I took my good old time getting ready, and left at about quarter til seven, thinking James wouldn't mind if I got to his house a few minutes early.

After fluffing my hair for a moment, I picked up my bag and got out of my car, walking up the sidewalk to the front door. I rapped on it three times, and as I waited for James, I slid my sunglasses into my bag.

**Yeah, so I know not much happens in this, but it will become important to the plot later, don't worry! And the next chapter will be the actual date.**

** Okay, and this also pertains to the next chapter. I want all of you to either pick **

**Yes**

**No **

**I don't want to tell you what yes or no means because I don't want to ruin it for you guys! But just leave them in a review, or a private message, I don't care, and you'll find out what they mean in the next chapter!**

**Oh, and expect to get little polls every so often cause I may either be stuck or want your opinion :)**

**Review!**


	4. Moms

**Wow, guys, I'm disappointed in you! I only got one response to my little poll! But that's okay because after thinking for a while, I decided on it myself, using YES as the 'answer,' but changing it a little because I think that would work better for the story right now. You will soon find out what the poll was for. It'll probably be pretty obvious. So here's chapter four, and don't worry, there's a LOT more to come.**

I stood there for another moment, then James opened the door, wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey," he said, a smile on his face. I smiled back at him.

"Hi," I said. He pulled me into a hug, and I could smell the Axe on his skin. James pulled away enough to look at me, leaving one arm around my waist.

"You look cute," he said, and I laughed a little.

"Why thank you," I said as I stepped inside. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"I look much better without a shirt on," he joked as we walked toward the kitchen.

That made me think about last week. And I didn't want to be in that mindset, because we started over. That one night was forgotten.

I stifled a laugh and teased him back with "I bet."

His kitchen, and entire house for that matter, was gorgeous, and I'm sure if I didn't know he lived here, I would've thought it was a married couple's house or something. It didn't look like a bachelor pad at all, and something about that made me feel like I belonged here.

I sat down at the island, putting my bag next to me, and watched James as he made something that smelled amazing.

"So, how was your day?" I asked, making random conversation.

"It was pretty good," he said, his back to me. "A long day, but a good one. And I suppose yours was just freaking fantastic?" I laughed.

"It was pretty freaking fantastic," I agreed. "And it only got better when you called me."

"Really?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.

"Yup," I said, a blush crossing my face now. I looked down at the counter, picking at the edge of it.

We spent the next ten minutes or so not really talking about anything in particular, just random things that came to mind. And something occurred to me.

I wanted to learn all his secrets.

All the things he's never told anyone.

I wanted to know everything thing about him, nothing hidden.

We ate dinner, which was actually pasta with spinach and feta cheese, and I was literally stunned by how…perfect James was.

"How long have you been living on your own?" I asked him.

"Since I was seventeen," he shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal.

"Seventeen?" I said, surprised. He nodded.

"Yup. I moved up here from San Diego when after finishing high school, and I've been on my own since then."

"Was it hard?"

"At first, definitely. I mean, I was young and had no idea what I was doing. But now it's fine."

"Yeah, that's kind of how I was. I mean, I've always been an independent person, even when I was living with my dad, but then I came out here for school and could hardly do it at first. But after a few months, I started to get used to it," I explained. I looked over at James, and he was just staring at me. "Sorry," I mumbled, thinking I was ranting.

"No, no, it's fine," he said, picking up our now empty plates. "And besides, I like independent girls."

I smiled a little and said "And I like guys who can cook."

"Then I guess this is a win-win situation."

It totally is, I thought.

I really liked how simply things came, and how un-serious we were. The teasing, the flirting, I loved it all, and it was something that didn't come with any other guys.

"Tell me something," I said to James about half an hour later as we sat on the couch, watching some stupid romantic comedy. I was lying against James, my head on his shoulder, and his arm was wrapped around my back.

"Tell you what?" he asked.

"Anything."

"I hate this movie," he said. I laughed a little.

"Come on," I said, looking up at him. "Something that I don't already know."

James smiled a little, and said "I know, I know, hold on." I watched him as he stared at the coffee table, in deep thought. "I haven't seen my mom in a year and a half."

That in itself shocked me. I figured his parents had the ideal marriage, always there for him, supporting all his decisions.

"Really?" I said. He nodded numbly, somewhat able to relate.

"Tell me something about you."

"I never met my mom," I said softly. "I mean, she was there when I was born of course, but, you know, I never actually remember anything about her."

"What happened?" James asked gently.

"She died. It was two weeks after I was born."

"I-I'm so sorry," he said, pulling me closer.

"It's okay. I mean, sometimes I just want to cry, but I never knew her, so I don't know why I hurt."

"I think it's because a girl needs her mom. You know, for those girl talks and such," James put in. He made me smile with "girl talks."

"I guess so," I said. I sat up and looked at him straight. "Girl talks, huh?" I teased.

"I suppose. But you know, I'm not a girl. I just assume that guys have "guy talks" with their dads, and girls have "girl talks" with their moms."

"They do," I said. James looked at me oddly. "I don't know from experience of course, but my friends have told me about it and stuff."

This was another thing that surprised me. I didn't tell my friends about my mom for years, and here I was, knowing James for three weeks and I'm already spilling secrets.

I felt a connection to him that I hadn't had with anyone else. It was deep and something I myself could hardly explain.

Maybe I was falling in love…

**So, kind of cheesy ending, but I like this chapter. Giving James a background is fun, and I plan on doing more of it in upcoming chapters.**

** Oh, and the poll thing- haha, yeah that'll probably be in six. I didn't want to ruin this fluffiness. Six, you may ask, why not five?**

** That's because five is a special chapter. You'll see in the next one, and I'll explain it too.**

** As for now, review!**


	5. Is She Hot?

**You're probably thinking "What the **_**hell**_**?" because of the chapter name, but the explanation below will explain it all. vv**

**Okay, so I know that people change POV's in their stories all the time, but mine is different. If anyone has read the book "It's Not Summer Without You," then you know that every once in a while, there's a change of POV from the main girl character to the main boy character for only one chapter. And it comes along every once in a while, just so you can get in someone else's mind. So probably every five or six chapters, the point of view will change to James. **

** And these other POV chapters probably won't be nearly as long as the usual ones.**

** Alright, enough explaining, on to the chapter.**

_James _

"So bro, why are you all giddy today?" Logan asked me as we ate lunch during our break the next day.

I had felt like that since last night, ever since Autumn was over. I really liked how she trusted me with her dark secrets, and I didn't plan on telling anyone. We had a really good time, and she stayed until ten.

_"Bye James," she said, and I loved hearing her voice. It was like the epiphany of sweet, and she was just so gorgeous and ah- I was probably trying to get this to move to fast. _

_ And then before I even knew it, she kissed me. _

_ And I didn't even get to kiss her back._

_ We were just standing by the front door, and boom- she does that to me._

_ "Bye," I said as she headed down the sidewalk, a stupid smile on my face. Autumn turned around and smiled, waving a little._

_ "See you later," she said._

"James."

Logan snapped me out of my sweet memory, and even though Autumn's lips were only on mine for a moment, I could still taste her. I could still smell her skin, coconut and something else.

"What?" I asked him, eating a forkful of my Chinese food.

"Why are you giddy?" he asked me again.

"No reason. Just having a good day," I said, and I was. He didn't need to know about Autumn.

"Alright. Why didn't you hang out with me and the guys last night?"

"I had a prior commitment," I told him, getting annoyed now.

"To do what?"

"Logan, just leave me alone," I snapped. He smirked.

"You got laid didn't you?"

"What the hell? No!" I said, somewhat offended.

"Then what we're you doing?"

"I had a date, alright?" I said. God, why couldn't he just leave me alone? Now he's going to get all the details out of me, then go tell Carlos and Kendall.

"Carlos! Kendall!" he yelled. I sighed heavily.

"What?" Kendall said, coming and sitting down at the table with us, Carlos not far behind.

"Our friend James here has an announcement to make," Logan told them, leaning back in his chair.

"Did you get laid?" was Kendall's first question.

"Why the hell does everyone keep saying that? Can't a guy have a date with a girl and the main goal wasn't to get her in bed?" I said.

"Will you just tell us what happened?" Carlos said.

"I had a date with a girl," I said, annunciating each word.

"Well? What are the details?" Kendall asked.

"Is she hot?" Logan said.

I pictured Autumn in my mind for a moment, her long, brown hair that was ever so slightly curled, dark blue eyes with the slightest hint of gray, tanned skin.

"Her name's Autumn," I said, avoiding the other questions.

"And? What was the date?" Carlos asked, the only one seeming to be interested in something other than her looks.

"She came over, and we had dinner then watched a movie," I said to him.

"Nice," he said.

"So that was it?" Logan said. I nodded, then stood up and threw my plate away, heading down to my dressing room.

"Do you have a picture of her?" Kendall asked. I glanced back, and he and Logan were following me.

"What the hell, bro? No. Why would I have one?"

"Because you're dating?" he said, and you could hear the obvious _duh _in his voice.

"I don't know if we're actually dating yet. We only kissed once," I said.

Even though that was a lie. I accidentally slept with her. But they didn't need to know that. I probably never would tell them that, because they'd give me a bunch of shit for it and ask me why I got into a relationship.

And that's some shit I did _not _want to deal with now.

"Is she hot. Can you answer that question?" Kendall said.

"If I tell you will you leave me alone?" They both nodded. "She's damn gorgeous," I said. "Like, amazingly sexy."

"I may steal her away at the next party and take her home," Logan joked, and I stifled a laugh.

You have no idea, I thought.

**Kay, so that's it! And I know, two chapters in one day! Woo!**

** The first James POV. Review!**


	6. Pressure

** So guys, I just realized I had anonymous reviews disabled, and I'm so sorry! I didn't even know I did! Sorry sorry sorry if you wanted to review but didn't have an account. I changed it, so now you can review anonymously.**

** Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, and I hope you guys keep it up!**

It had been one week. One week since my date with James, and he hadn't called me, or texted me. Had I done something wrong?

Damn it! It was probably that kiss! I knew I shouldn't have done that!

I was sitting at King Crown's publishing again, after getting a call from Jenna, and she said she had wanted to see me.

I was in her office, sitting somewhat uncomfortably in a silence, waiting for her return. I was wearing a black high waist skirt with a dark blue tank-top, my purse in my lap.

Which is when I felt my phone vibrate.

I opened my bag and searched around for it a moment, and finally found it.

_James. _

"Now he calls," I mumbled. "Well, he'll just have to wait."

"Ms. Dawson, it's so nice to see you again," I heard Jenna say from behind me, and I set my bag down on the floor before standing up.

"As for you," I said, shaking her hand.

She sat down at her desk, and I sat down in my chair.

"Now, about your book…" She paused for a moment, and I could hardly take the tension. "And I'm happy to tell you that we are looking forward to publishing your book."

"Really?" I asked, staring at her incredulously.

"Yes."

"Well, thank you," I said, not sure of what else to say. I was dumbfounded, and just so excited.

"It was our pleasure. We'll be meeting with you several times in the next few weeks to get title pages, author's notes, dedication's and such to get your book together."

"Alright."

"We look forward to working with you," Jenna said, standing up. I did the same, shaking her hand.

"As do I," I said.

"Have a nice day," she said.

"You too."

I picked up my bag, then headed downstairs and out to my car, my joy almost making me forget that James had called me. I found my phone again, then pulled it out and called James back.

"Hello?" he said, barely after the first ring. He must have been waiting.

"Hey," I said. "Sorry I didn't pick up. You caught me at a meeting again."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Wait, was it about your book?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, unlocking my car.

"And?"

"They want to publish it."

"Autumn, that's amazing!" I smiled.

"Thanks," I said.

"Look, I wanted to call and apologize for not calling you or anything."

"No, it's not a big deal," I told him, even though it did hurt a little.

"So I wanted to make it up to you," James said.

"Okay," I said.

"I was hoping maybe you'd want to come over again tonight?"

"Not big on going out are you?" I teased.

"Did you want to go out?"

"No. I'd much rather stay in with you," I said softly.

"Great. Is eight okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "See you then."

"Alright. Can't wait. Bye."

"Bye," I said, then hung up and set my phone down next to me.

This just kept getting better.

I went home and took a shower before picking out a new outfit. I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a pink tank top with a gray cardigan over top. I dried and did my hair, then put on my make-up.

"Hey," James said as I came to his door at eight. He wrapped me in a tight hug, our bodies so close I could feel the warmth of his skin.

"Hi," I said. He went to kiss my cheek, but I kissed his lips instead.

"Someone's a little feisty today," he joked. I turned and smirked at him.

"Well, it didn't look like you'd make the first move anytime soon," I teased back.

Some people probably wouldn't like just staying in with someone- who was their 'date,' but personally, I preferred this. You could get more talking in, and it didn't cost any money. It was a win-win situation.

James and I were sitting on his couch after eating ice cream, and I was teasing James about what a health freak he was.

"Wait, you run five or six miles a day?" I asked, looking over at him.

"That's what I try to do," he said.

"That's ridiculous," I said.

"What is?"

"Five or six miles a day! I could do maybe two, tops." James laughed a little.

"I've been doing it a long time. It's all about the buildup, you know. You start out with half, then one, then two-"

I kissed him, shutting him up about his exercise rant. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pushing me gently down onto his couch. He ran his tongue along my lip, and I smirked, opening my mouth for him.

A minute or two later, James moved his hand up my leg, running it along the waistband of my shorts. His hand slowly lingered closer, but I couldn't do this. At least, not yet.

"James, stop," I said, pushing him away a few inches, my hand on his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I can't do this," I said. "Maybe I should go."

"Wait, no, don't leave," he said, but I had already squirmed out from underneath him.

"James, I need to. I feel like all you want from me is sex," I said, half disgusted, half wanting to cry. How could I have been so stupid?

"Autumn, that's not true. I-I thought you wanted to do this," he said.

"I didn't. This is moving way too fast for me. We've known each other for a month. That's definitely not long enough to fall in love with someone," I told him, picking up my purse and sliding on my shoes.

"Please, wait," James said, following behind me as I walked outside.

"Maybe we should take a break from each other," I said. "And maybe I'll call you when I'm ready, to-to see you again. I'm sorry." A few tears fell down my cheeks, and I unlocked my car and opened the door.

"Autumn, please," he begged, his voice sounding like mine, but I couldn't do this.

I wasn't in love with him, and we had already done this once with no love, and I could hardly look at myself. I couldn't do this again.

And I really thought we had something. Maybe we still do. I'd need some time to think about it.

**Alright, that chapter is done. I'm really liking this, and I love this drama, and can't wait to write more chapters of this!**


	7. Boyfriend

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!**

Why did I do that? I asked myself as I lay in bed the next morning. It was barely past six am, and I just couldn't fall back asleep.

I realized I probably took it too far last night with my little freak out on James, and I didn't want to lose him. Whatever we had was just starting, and I really liked it. And I wanted it back.

I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling, watching my fan whirr silently above me. Then I decided to make a bold, yet somewhat stupid, move. I got up and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top, then grabbed my keys and went to my car.

I arrived at my destination about ten minutes later, the sun just starting to peek above the horizon. I took a deep breath, then got out of my car and headed up the sidewalk. It was literally now or never.

I practically pounded on the door, and stood there for a few long moments, shaking my leg in anxiety.

"Autumn, what the _hell _are you doing here?" James said after opening the door. I looked up at him, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants that rode extremely low on his hips. He rubbed his eyes, and his hair was slightly disheveled.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry for freaking out on you and basically calling you a man whore, and it was a mistake. I'm sorr-"

James wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me toward him, then kissed me, shutting me up.

"I forgive you," he said, our faces only a few inches apart. "I like you way too much to just slam the door in the face." I laughed a little.

"Well thanks," I said.

"You don't need to thank me," he said, kissing me again. And it wasn't until now that I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Which made this somewhat awkward.

"Um, I guess I should let you go back to bed. You probably have to work later," I said.

"I don't have to work until noon. We could go get breakfast," he said.

"Right now? It's like six thirty," I pointed out.

"Are you denying a date with me?" he teased. I smiled.

"No," I said.

"Alright. Then it's settled. Just let me go get dressed," James said. I nodded, and he gestured for me to go inside.

"I'll just wait in here," I said, sitting down on the couch. He nodded and smiled, then headed up the stairs, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Damn, I thought. Who knew how hot he could look in just sweatpants!

A few minutes later, James returned, wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Ready?" he asked me. I nodded and stood up, and he took my hand. Wow, I already loved this. Our first official going out date. To breakfast.

Unconventional, but that was how I liked it.

We ended up at IHOP, one of my favorite places in the world, and it was pretty much vacant for almost seven am on a Friday.

"You know," I said to James as we talked over coffee while waiting for our food. "You might end up having to bring me here a lot." He laughed a little.

"Is that so?" he said before taking a sip of his coffee. I nodded.

"Yup. This is like, one of my favorite restaurants ever." He smiled.

"Interesting. It's one of my favorites too," he said.

"Not uh," I said, smiling.

"No, really," James said.

"I think it's safe to say that we may be going on lots of breakfast dates."

"I would have to agree."

James and I spent about an hour in IHOP, talking about ourselves as we ate pancakes and eggs. I came to find out he went to high school at a performing arts school instead of a public school, and that he has a brother and a sister, him being the youngest child. That was something we had in common, except I had two sisters.

I also found out that he loves horses, but hadn't had the chance to ride in years. He told me that he plays piano and guitar, and that he used to be a little chubby.

"Shut up," I said after he told me about his "fat days."

"I'm serious!"

"I don't see it," I said. We were in his car, on the way back to his house, the sun now bright and halfway up the sky, a breeze blowing outside.

"I'm dead serious. I've got some chunky monkey pictures and I will show them to you," he said, and I laughed.

"I want to see them," I said.

"Alright, dude. I'll show them to you."

He pulled into his driveway and we got out of his car.

"Did you just call me dude?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah, got a problem with that?" James joked.

"Am I one of your guy friends now?" He unlocked the front door, and I stepped inside, and he followed, shutting the door behind him as I slid off my shoes.

"No," he said, then stayed quiet for a moment. "But do you think I could call you my girlfriend?" he asked, hesitantly, carefully. I smiled a little, then turned to face him.

"I'd really like that, _boyfriend_," I said. He smiled, then kissed me softly.

"Autumn Marie Dawson," he said, walking over to the living room. "My girlfriend." I grinned and followed him, sitting down on his couch.

"James David Maslow. My boyfriend," I retorted.

"I'm really liking the sound of that," he said, pulling out a photo album from a shelf next to the TV.

"Ditto," I agreed.

"Bam. Right here," James said, walking over to me. He had the photo album open to one page around the middle, and he sat down next to me.

"Oh my god," I said. "That was you?" I looked over at him, and he nodded. "It _does _look like you. It's just hard to believe."

"Why?" James asked.

"Because you're so…hot now."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he said.

"It was a compliment," I said, rolling my eyes.

I honestly couldn't believe that in the past month of my life, I'd accidentally slept with this guy, hated him for a week, went on a date, freaked out on him and practically calling him a man whore, and then making up with him and now he was my boyfriend.

It was crazy. So many up's and downs so far, and I couldn't wait to actually have a relationship with the gorgeous boy sitting next to me.


	8. Surprise

**You guys are the best :) thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! And, I'm practically snowed in, have been for the past few days, so I may be able to get two more chapters up by Monday! The only plus side to so much snow!**

It had been three weeks since James and I had officially started dating. But we hadn't done much of it. We've both been extremely busy, me with getting my book together, and James with the show. We had talked on the phone almost every night, but we had only seen each other three or four times in three weeks. And they were all for only an hour or two.

But the amount of time I was spending with James wasn't going to hinder my feelings for him. I was liking him more and more every day, and he always made me smile when he'd send me a random text. Whether it was at eight am while he was on his way to work, at one while he was on break, at six while he was filming or at ten when he was getting home.

They were all either smiley faces, or _I miss you_, and the occasional _I'm SO bored!, _which always made me laugh.

James just had a way of charming me.

Right now, I was sitting on the couch in my apartment in a pair of faded pink sweatpants and a white t-shirt, my laptop resting on my legs as I replied to e-mails from my some of my friends, and my sister.

I was in the middle of telling one of my best friends from back home, Tabitha, about my book and how she should come visit soon when there was a knock on the door. I was puzzled, not expecting anyone. I put my laptop down on the coffee table, then got up and headed toward the door.

I opened it to see James standing in the hallway, in jeans a t-shirt and a jacket, and he smiled at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling him in for a hug. "It's like eleven."

"That doesn't mean I can't come see my favorite girl," he said, hugging me back. He came in and I shut the door, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "This isn't a bad time is it?"

"No, not at all," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He grinned, then pressed his lips to mine.

God how much I missed those lips, I thought.

I pulled away a few long moments later, and James and I went into the living room.

"What the hell are you watching?" he asked, sitting down on the couch. I glanced over at the TV, which was on low volume, and it had some lady covered in blood walking down the street.

"Um, Criminal Minds?" I said, sitting down next to him and picking up my laptop. "Have you never watched this show before?"

"No. Never," he said as I finished typing up my message to my sister. James leaned closer to me, staring at the screen. "Writing up another best seller?" he asked. I laughed.

"One, it's not a best seller. And two, no. It's an email to my sister," I told him.

"You're oldest sister?"

"Hell no," I said. "You know I don't talk to Audrina. I mean, she's a bitch. I've told you this. It's to my younger older sister, Arianna."

"What country did the name Arianna originate from? It's kinda weird," James said. I rolled my eyes.

"I, personally, love the name. It's Italian for very holy."

"Is your sister very holy?" he asked.

"No," I said. "Arianna and Audrina kind of…sleep around."

"And you don't?"

"James!" I said, smacking his leg.

"I was kidding!" he said. I rolled my eyes and sent the e-mail, then shut my laptop.

"I invited her to come down," I told him. "But I'm somewhat afraid if she does come down here she'll fall in love with it and will never leave. Damn it! I can't live with her again!"

"Autumn, relax," James said, his hand on my knee. I looked over at him, then laid my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It's just- Arianna can get kind of crazy," I said as he wrapped an arm around my back.

"Crazy how?" he asked, confused.

"She's a partier. Hence why she sleeps around. When she gets drunk, she gets crazy."

"Hm..." James seemed to be taking this into consideration, and I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of him.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" I asked softly.

"Not until three. We have a recording session."

"That means you can stay a little longer and watch a movie?" I said sweetly, looking up to him. He smiled, then kissed me lightly.

"I'd love to," he said.

I smiled, then stood up, pulling James with me.

"You pick the movie," I said, going into the kitchen and getting some ice cream. Even though James was a health freak, I knew he loved stuffing his face. A minute later, I set the two bowls of chocolate ice cream on the coffee table, then turned the lights off before grabbing a blanket.

I sat back down with James, then threw the big, warm yellow blanket over us before grabbing our ice cream and handing him his bowl. He smiled, and I grinned back, but it became a smile as I realized what movie it was.

Shutter Island.

One of my absolute favorite movies because it made you think. And who didn't love Leonardo DiCaprio? I told James all the time that this was my favorite, and this just proves that he listens.

We ate our ice cream, and only making a few comments about the movie. James was claiming he was confused, and he probably was and probably would be unless I explained it to him. But frankly, now, it was about 12.30, about halfway through the movie and I was super tired, and James and I were now lying on the couch, my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around me.

I could feel my eyelids growing heavier every minute, and the sounds of the TV were becoming more distant, the colors emitting from it becoming duller as I drifted off into sleep.


	9. Emails and Author's Notes

**You guys are beyond awesome. The reviews you guys are leaving me make me smile. Thank you!**

I woke up to fingers brushing against my forehead, and I wrinkled my nose, snuggling up smaller, pulling the blanket around me further. The fingers brushed against my cheek now, and down my jaw.

"Stop," I giggled.

"Why?" James said, and I loved the sound of his voice. I would know that voice forever, and could pick it out of a million different voices.

"Because it's way too early," I said, pulling the blankets over my head.

"It's…seven oh four," he said.

"See. Exactly my point. Way too early."

"Come on Aud," he said, sliding his arms around my waist.

"No. Just close your pretty little eyes and go back to sleep," I told him.

"I have 'pretty little eyes?'" James said. I peeked out from under the blanket at him, and he was looking down at me.

"Yes. They're hazel. Rare eye color. And they're as clear as the ocean," I said, running my fingers through his hair and pushing his hair to the side of his forehead.

"Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel good," he said. I laughed a little, then kissed him gently.

James left about an hour later so he could go home and get ready for work and do some other things, and I cleaned up my apartment before getting dressed to go meet with Jenna for some last minute things on my book.

I checked my e-mails a few minutes before I had to leave, and had one from Arianna. She was twenty-two, and had just graduated from college, but still lived at home while she saved a few more bucks. She was extremely bubbly and confident, always on the arm of a new boy. But, I guess as long as she was content, I would be happy for her.

_Autumn! I miss you, I miss you, I miss you! I would totally LOVE to come visit you and get OUT of this house! Dad and Lorraine keep fighting and it's annoying as hell! Is there any specific time you'd want me to come out? Hurry and reply back, I wanna come to LA! _

_ Love you doll,_

_ Arianna :)_

I smiled at the e-mail. Arianna was very animated and loud, and her texts and e-mails echoed that. And she always ended everything with me with "love you doll," and mine was "love you too babe." It was just something we did since I was like fifteen

Lorraine was our dad's girlfriend of just over a year, and by what Arianna said, it may be coming to an end.

_Hi Ariiiii. Miss you too! The best time for you to come out would probably be Saturday. Before that, I have tons of stuff to do for the book, so yes, Saturday would be the best day for you to get here. Call me when you make up your mind :)_

_ Love you too babe,_

_ Aud_

I shut my laptop after turning it off, then gathered my things together and headed off for my meeting about my book cover with Jenna.

"- I was thinking, like, all you can see is from her knee down, and there's green grass, and in the background trees?" I said two hours later as I sat in a conference room with Jenna and a photographer.

"I really like the image you gave me. Should we set something up, Mark?" Jenna said to the man sitting next to her.

"I would love to. When is good Miss. Autumn?" he asked me, and I smiled, loving that he just called me Miss. Autumn.

"Um, anytime really. My sister's coming to visit on Saturday, and I don't know when she's leaving yet, but that shouldn't matter, right?" I said, confusing myself.

Today was Monday, and I was pretty sure we could get my book done within a few weeks or so. We had the cover to do, and I had to do my dedication and author's note. Speaking of which, I wanted to write soon.

And I had one person in particular who I couldn't wait to mention.

I wasn't able to full get James off my mind. I wanted to see him again, but I wasn't sure when that time would come. I was hoping soon.

"It will probably be a week to set everything up, including getting someone to be your cover girl," Mark said.

"Alright," I said, writing it down, being my organized self.

"And you'll need to write your author's note and dedications," Jenna added. "How long do you think it will take you to do that?"

"I can do it tonight," I told her.

"Really?" she asked, totally shocked.

What was the big deal? Was she supposed to hold it off?

"Totally," she said, then wrote it down, even though she wouldn't forget.

"Then that's it," Jenna said, standing up. I gathered my things up, then stood up and shook her hand. "We'll call you about your book cover very soon."

That night, after I had a ten minute "while he was on break" phone call with James, I sat down to write my author's note and dedications.

_This book is dedicated to the ones who taught me to love, and the ones who are still teaching me. _

I wanted to keep my dedication simple, saving the good stuff for the end of the book in my author's note.

_I wanted to thank everyone who's been there for me the past year and a half. Dad, thanks for always supporting my dreams and teaching me to reach for the stars. Arianna, love you babe, thanks for being the best sister ever. Tabitha (tabs!), thanks for reading the horrible short stories in high school. It really meant a lot. James, thanks for teaching me the things untaught. – Autumn_

So James had no clue he was going to be in my author's note. And I didn't plan on telling him. But he really had been teaching me the things I was never taught before. It was hard to explain, but I soaked in every word he said to me, and I embraced every moment with him.

I was starting to fall for this guy, and for once, I wasn't scared.


	10. Guys Will Be Guys

**Hey dolls :) You guys really are fantastic, and I can't even tell you how much the alerts, favorites and reviews mean. When I stared this, I expected the whole story to get like 30 reviews. I would have been happy with that. But this is only chapter ten and I already have 27! **

** James POV number two!**

Wednesday-

I loved when we got long breaks. And today was just one of those days. We had to go in at seven, which really wasn't a big deal, and then from noon to three we got a break. Enough time to go on a lunch date with Autumn.

Hopefully she wasn't busy today with her book stuff.

I was so happy for her, her talent being finally recognized, after years.

Right now we were filming, and noon was only half an hour away. When I had a spare minute, I got my phone and called Autumn.

"Hey," she said, and I could hear her smiling. I loved her smile- it was beautiful, just like everything about her.

"Hey," I said. "I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a lunch date at around noon?"

"I'd love to," she said immediately.

"Awesome. Come to the studio then we'll work it out from there."

"Alright."

I gave her the address to the studio, then we hung up, and I went back to film one last scene, a smile on my face.

"Bro, what's going on?" Logan teased as I sat in my dressing room, waiting for Autumn, half an hour later. Logan came and sat down across from me, in a chair.

"Nothing. Just going out for lunch in a few," I said.

"Uh-huh. With who?"

"Why does that matter Logan?" I asked.

"Because you're not going alone. Is it with Autumn?"

"Why yes, it is," I said, getting annoyed.

The guys, minus Carlos most of the time, were really starting to make me lose my patience with them. Were they jealous, or what? I didn't know, and frankly I didn't care.

"Ah-ha, I kn-"

And before Logan could finish his sentence, Autumn appeared in the doorway, in a pretty white tank top and khaki shorts. Logan practically gaped at her, and she smiled.

"Hi," she said. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, not at all," Logan said, standing up. He walked over to her and held out his hand, turning his flirt on. "I'm Logan."

"Autumn," she said, taking his hand. Before Logan could say anything else, I walked over to them, and she smiled at me.

"I'll see you guys later," Logan said, and I knew he was going to go tell Kendall and Carlos.

I smiled at Autumn, then kissed her softly for a long moment. I pulled away slowly, our faces only a few inches apart.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"So, where are we going?" she asked, stepping around me and looking around my dressing room.

"Anywhere you'd like," I told her. She turned around, and I added "Except IHOP. We go there for breakfast only." She laughed.

"I definitely wasn't going to say IHOP," Autumn said, then pulled a picture off the corner of my mirror. "Cute dog."

I smiled and said "Thanks. He's with my dad right now. You know, because I'm never home and I don't like him being alone."

"Sounds like you're a great dog father," she said, then put it back on the mirror. I laughed a little, then took her hand.

"I'd like to think that," I said, then flipped the light off and we started to walk down the hallway.

"Good. Because it's true," she said, and we heard running- yes, _running_- coming from behind us.

"Hey, I'm Kendall," he said, in front of us now. Autumn stifled a laugh, and I could tell she felt a little awkward.

"Hi. I'm Autumn," she said.

"I'm Carlos!" I heard, and then he appeared a moment later.

"Autumn," she repeated.

"How about you go meet Stephen?" I suggested. "You'll love him. He's great."

"Alright," she said slowly.

"Turn left. Third door on the left," I called. After Autumn disappeared around the corner, I looked at the guys, my anger starting to rise.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I said, trying to keep my voice down.

"What?" Kendall said.

"You can't just bombard her like that!" I said. "Couldn't you tell how uncomfortable she was? God you guys were all over her."

They shifted awkwardly, looking down at the floor.

"Sorry," they muttered.

"Thank you," I said. "Now, I'm gonna go take my girlfriend to lunch."

"She's your girlfriend?" Logan said from out of nowhere, and I rolled my eyes, throwing my hands up. They were relentless.

"Yeah. She has been for…a month or so," I said.

"And you didn't tell us?"

"And you know why now!" I yelled. "You guys could hardly control yourselves!" I turned and walked down the hallway, and went to Stephen's dressing room.

I heard Autumn laughing, and when I went in, she and Stephen were practically crying from laughter.

"Um, hey guys," I said.

"Hey James!" Stephen said through his laughter, and Autumn just waved.

"Hey," I said again. Autumn stood up and walked over to me, calming her laughter now. "Ready to go?" I asked her, and she nodded. "Alright." I took her hand and we started to walk out, but I stopped after a moment.

"James," Stephen called, and I went back into his dressing room, Autumn waiting in the hallway.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Keep an eye out for her. She's a keeper." I smiled, but I knew I looked like an idiot.

"Thanks," I said. "I will."

I went back out to the hallway, where Autumn looked relieved.

"Are we _finally _going to lunch now?" she teased.

"Yes, we are," I said. "Look, I'm really sorry about the guys."

We were in my car now, not really talking until now.

"Guys will be guys," she said, laughing.

"They will, but they were pretty out of line."

"It's fine," she said. "They seem like nice guys, but I hope they won't act like that every time they see me."

"They won't," I said sternly. "Don't worry about that."

**Alright, chapter done. I'm snowed in again, well, ice this time, and probably will be for the rest of the week. But I can't promise a chapter every day. **

** Anyway, please review!**


	11. Arianna

**So I just realized the ending of the last chapter was a little awkward cause I forgot to start a new line. Oh well. Anyway! Enjoy and review- the story is really going to start picking up now! And sorry for this somewhat late update, I've had tons of tests and stuff to study for!**

** Oh, and I wrote this stupid little on shot based off "Back to December," by Taylor Swift, so if you haven't already read that but could that'd be awesome :)**

Saturday-

I was standing in the airport, waiting for Arianna. I felt like I had been here for hours, but I was so excited to see her. I hadn't spent any time with her in about a year and a half, and I had missed her so much.

_Friday-_

_ I was jerked awake by my phone buzzing, and mentally cursed myself for not turning it on silent. I was lying on my stomach, my head buried in my pillows and the blankets pulled tightly over my body. I dug around for a second and pulled out my phone from under my pillow and looked at the screen._

_ Arianna._

_ "What the hell, Ari? It's like…" I looked over at the clock, and saw 6.43 burning in red. "6.45."_

_ "Oh, shit! I forgot about the time change…" she said. Of course she did. She was on the other side of the country, where it was 9.43 instead. "I'm sorry! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'll be there tomorrow."_

_ I smiled, loving that she'd be here in a little over twenty four hours. Even if this was last minute, and even though she could get crazy, I was excited._

_ "Great. Have you booked a flight yet?" I asked, rolling over onto my back._

_ "Yep. I'll be there around noon."_

_ "Awesome, can't wait," I said._

_ "I know me too. Gotta go. Love you doll."_

_ "Love you too babe," I said, then she hung up. _

_ I laid there for a few moments, wondering about James, and if he was up yet. I couldn't stop thinking about when I went to his house that one morning around this time and he was shirtless. Which meant he slept shirtless._

_ And I loved that. Why? Lots of reasons._

_ I didn't get a chance to see him yesterday, but we talked for about fifteen minutes on the phone while he was on his break. I think he said something about him having a three day weekend. Or maybe that was for next weekend. _

_ I figured I'd call him later and if he was off, I'd ask him if he wanted to come over and hang out. I knew if Arianna knew about how James and I just stayed in most of the time, she wouldn't approve. She was the girl who liked to be seen, not to mention heard. But that was a different story. _

_ Either way, she liked actual dates. But clearly she wouldn't understand mine and James' relationship; we were busy people, and we had to take it how we got it. No refunds._

"Oh my god!"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by that ever-familiar voice. I smiled, then looked in that direction and saw Arianna coming toward me, wearing a short blue sundress. We practically squealed, and she hugged me tightly.

"You're so damn gorgeous!" Arianna gushed, her hands on my shoulders and looking down at me.

"Stop," I said, pushing her away playfully.

"You stop. You know it's true!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, walking over to bag collection.

"So a hottie like you has _got _to have a boyfriend, right?" she asked. I blushed, looking down at the floor and not answering her for a moment.

"No…"

"Ah, you do! Who is he?" Arianna got closer and leaned into my face, just staring at me.

"Uh. Fine. His name is James," I told her.

"Ooh, James. Is he hot?" I giggled, thinking about James and his perfect face, and perfect body.

"Uh….hell to the yes for that one," I said as she picked up her suitcase, then set it on the floor and rolled it behind her.

She laughed and said "I can't wait to meet him."

"I don't know when that'll be," I said skeptically.

Even though he did have a three day weekend, he decided to go down to San Diego to visit his dad and his brother, and despite the fact that I wanted to hang out with him before Arianna got here, family was really important to him. And I could still talk to him on the phone. It wouldn't be that big of a deal.

"Why not?" Arianna asked.

"He's in San Diego for the weekend, and his job keeps him really busy."

"What's his job?" she asked me as we got outside.

It was an overcast day, which made it the slightest bit chilly, but this was nothing like it was back in New Jersey. We had crazy cold days up there, and tons of snow, so this was really nothing.

"He's on a TV show," I said.

Arianna practically freaked out, and on the way to my apartment, I filled her in on all the important information about James and our relationship, leaving out that one little fact that I had accidentally slept with him.

And as we drove through LA, I noticed Arianna seemed to really be taking to the city, but I was just hoping she wouldn't want to move down here. Or she could, just not near me. I'd rather be independent.

"Have you slept with him yet?" Arianna asked bluntly as we walked down the hallway to my apartment.

"No," I said.

"How long have you been going out?"

"I don't know. A month a few days, I guess."

"God, and you haven't slept with him?" she said dramatically as I pulled my keys out of my bag.

"Nope," I said simply.

"Well when are you going to?"

"How the hell am I supposed to predict that?" I asked her. She shrugged, and I rolled my eyes and unlocked the door and stepped inside, holding it open for my older sister.

"This is so cute!" she said, looking around.

"Your room is this one right here," I told her, gesturing to the first door on the left. "Clearly this is the kitchen." I took a few more steps to my small kitchen, which was visible from the hallway, and visible to the living room. "And that's the living room." I pointed across the room, and Arianna nodded.

"And this other lone door is your room?" she asked, pointing to the second door on the left. I laughed a little and nodded.

A few hours later, at around ten, I was getting ready to go to bed, pulling my hair up into a bun after sliding on my pajamas when I heard my phone ring. I looked around for a moment, then remembered it was out in the kitchen.

I ran out of my room and got to the kitchen just as Arianna was coming out of her room, wearing a short high-waisted black skirt and skimpy blue tank top. Her brown hair was all done up in a fancy-looking ponytail, and her make-up was meticulously done.

I grabbed my phone, smiling when I realized it was James, then pressed it to my ear.

"Hey," I said as Arianna came strutting over to me in tall silver heels, crossing her arms over her chest and giving me a look.

"Hey," James said. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. Getting ready for bed. What are you doing?"

"Hiding," he said, and I laughed.

"From what?" I asked, leaning against the countertop and playing with a strand of hair that had fallen from my bun.

"My dad threw like this massive party, but I was _not _in the mood to hear a bunch of shit about how much I'd grown up from people I don't know." I smiled.

"Aw. I wish I could've been there," I said softly.

"Then I could have showed you off," he said, and I could almost hear seductiveness in the undertones.

We'd gotten a lot more serious, probably because we were really starting to fall in love, and I felt almost ready to spend a night with James. This time for real.

"Maybe next time," I said. "Are you at least spending time with your dog?"

James laughed a little and said "Yeah. He's sleeping by my feet right now."

"He probably missed you."

I heard what sounding like talking in the background, and muffled noises for a few moments.

"Damn it, they found me," James said, and I laughed. "I gotta go back to the party."

"Have fun," I teased.

"Shut the hell up," he teased back. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Alright," I said. "I miss you."

I could practically hear James smile.

"I miss you too. Bye."

He hung up the phone, and I did the same, then set it back down on the counter.

"So your boytoy's out of town for the weekend," Arianna said. "Wanna go to a club with me?"

"No," I said, rolling my eyes. I knew how this was going to end.

She sighed heavily and said "Fine. This time you can stay. But next time, you're going."

"Alright," I said. "Be good!" I called as she walked to the door.

"No promises!"

"Don't bring back any guys!"

"Ha. Don't get your hopes up on that one!"

I sighed after the door shut, then went to my room. Arianna was going to a club- alone- something most girls wouldn't do, and she was going to get completely trashed, and come back with some weird guy.

Great. I couldn't wait for that to happen.


	12. Dresses and Track Meets

**Hey darlings! You guys are literally ah-mazing for your reviews and favorites and all that good stuff.**

** So I'm sure you guys want to know what's up with me. And even if you don't, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I've become obsessed, and I mean like non-stop obsessed with the song "Come On Get Higher," by Matt Nathanson. My older sister has been playing it in the car, and frankly, I fell in love with it all over again! **

** So, don't be surprised if it pops up in a future chapter :)**

** Oh, and bee-tee dubs, I wrote another stupid one-shot. About Valentine's Day. Cliché, right? Yeah, I know. But you should go read and review. It'll be totally worth it!**

I woke up the next morning fairly late, and you're probably asking why. Well, of course, Arianna brought a guy back, which I really really _really _didn't want.

It was around two am when they came in, and for a whole hour I heard stifled giggles and choked moans, and Arianna probably thought I wouldn't hear them, but I did.

It was around ten thirty now, but I didn't have to worry about Arianna's play toy to still be here. They all seemed to leave before nine, probably so no one else had to see them.

I walked out to the kitchen, and Arianna was there, showered and fully clothed, eating cereal.

"Hey, you wanna go shopping today?" she asked me as I walked past her.

It was Sunday, and James would be back later, so I really had nothing to do for the day, and this would be the perfect way for us to catch up.

An hour later, Arianna and I were in some little boutique, looking at adorably cute dresses.

"How about this one?" Arianna asked me, holding up a short black dress that had thick straps.

I shook my head and said "Try that white one."

"But I'm not pure," she said, a little too loud, and two old women looked over at us, not approving of such "vulgar," language, probably. I laughed a little, looking away.

"But you have the perfect skin tone for it," I said. "Just get the freaking dress."

"Alright, alright," she said, picking it up.

I got a white dress too, but mine was more of a flapper dress, and then I also got a dark blue dress with no straps.

"Uh, you're getting that," Arianna said as we stood outside the dressing rooms, staring at each other. She was wearing a skin tight red dress that was pretty short, and I had on the white dress.

"Where would I wear it?" I asked.

"Are you serious? A club, a party, your book release," she said.

"Ari, that'll be, like, a somewhat sophisticated event," I told her, looking at myself in the mirror.

I pretty much gaped at myself.

It didn't look like a flapper dress. It just looked like it was sequined. It looked sophisticated.

"Now what do you think?" she asked from behind me, in her all-knowing voice.

"Fine, fine. I will get it and wear it to my book release party for you."

"Yay!" Arianna said, clapping her hands together.

We left that store about ten minutes later, both of us with a bag with one and only one dress.

"Now we need to go shoe shopping and go to lunch," she said.

"Alright, where to first?"

We both looked at each other for a moment, then said "Shoes," at same time.

"I think you should get black pumps," I said ten minutes later as we walked up and down the aisles of a huge shoe store.

"Red dress, black pumps. Sex goddess!" I rolled my eyes and laughed, picking up a gold heel, and studying it for a moment. "Are the other guys hot?" she asked suddenly.

I put the heel down, then gave her a look.

"What guys?"

"The three James work with."

I could clearly picture them all in my mind, and if I had to pick one, it'd be Logan. There was just something about him. But, I had James. And that was enough for me.

"Yeah, definitely," I said, nodding.

"I wanna meet them," she said now.

I thought back to when I met them the other day, and how they were literally all over me. I wasn't a slut, and while I hated to say it, Arianna was. And she was gorgeous. If I pushed her into a party with them, they could fight over her and leave me alone.

It _seemed _like a good plan. The worst thing that could happen would be that she sleeps with one of them, right?

And it's not like I cared about that. I mean, I wasn't dating them. They were their own people, and so was Ari. They had their own lives. I'm merely connected to them through family ties or another person.

And, Arianna has slept with dozens of guys.

"I don't know when you would," I said, walking down the aisle to a pair of light gold heels that seemed to shine.

"Why not?"

"I've only met them once," I said. "But I'm sure if you wanted to meet them we could set something up."

"Awesome," she said, smiling, and I did _not _want to know what was going on in that brunette mind of hers.

We spent almost an hour finding the perfect shoes, me getting gold heels and Arianna getting black pumps with thick heels, just like I told her.

Arianna and I went to lunch at a small café, and we sat outside in the warm air, enjoying the Sunday weather. She got a chicken sandwich while I stuck to a Chef's salad.

That was one thing a lot of people didn't know about my sister. She ate a lot, and hardly ever was it something healthy. And she was always eating, or hungry.

She wasn't one of those short, petite girls that usually fell into this category, her and I were pretty much the same size, she just burned it all off. And she loved running, the only sport she ever did in high school, which was exactly where her sleeping around thing started. It wasn't the first time she had sex, because I knew about when she and her boyfriend slept together because we told each other everything. This was just when she decided that she didn't need to date them.

I guess it started out as not really her fault, but she took full advantage of her, uhh, assets. Track outfits at our school consisted of short shorts that hugged your butt, and a top that was just as tight. We were on the team together, opting to do distance since that was pretty much the only thing you could do alone, and we ran together.

Even though she was two years older, she was only one grade above me, so I joined the team when I was a freshman, and for that entire year, she merely just looked good, sending guys into a frenzy when she shot them a smile.

Then when she was a junior, we had this huge meet at a school about an hour away from where we lived. Our dad couldn't come, and Audrina was at college and we didn't like her then either, so we had to go alone.

_We got there fairly early in the morning, and we were sitting next to the track on the turf football field doing stretches when we saw this drop dead gorgeous guy._

_ We'd heard about him- Josh Goldman._

_ He was a track star, and he was the only guy Arianna and I couldn't beat. We ran every day for at least an hour, so we were pretty good, beating out every guy in the race._

_ Except for him. We hadn't gone against him, but we knew we couldn't beat him._

_ That's when Arianna knew what she had to do. She got up slowly as I stayed on the fake grass, and she slowly walked over to him, her hips swaying, her Reebok Easy Tones seeming to make her leg muscles get better than they even were in the five seconds it took to walk over to him._

_ He was alone, and all Arianna did was give him a look, then she stood up on her toes, a hand on his chest, and whispered something in his ear. He swallowed hard and nodded, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek, then turned her back on him and walked back over to me._

_ "Done," she said simply._

_ That day, we won the meet. Then I found out she promised him she'd "Give him something," later. Of course, she didn't tell him those words, but she spared my sophomore mind and told me that. But obviously, I caught on; having two older sisters, I already knew everything I didn't need to._

When I told Arianna about how I had just remembered that, she laughed and gave me a look. We were in the car, on the way back to my apartment, sitting at a red light.

"I saw him the other week running by the house. No joke."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I put on my running clothes and followed him!" she said as I turned left.

"Did he, like, see you?"

"Of course he did," she said.

"And?"

"He remembered me. And asked me out."

"And?" I repeated.

"I accepted, obviously. And then we went out that night and he took me home."

"Was it good?"

"Hell yes," she said slowly. "One of the best."

"And he remembered you? After what, like, six years?"

"A guy doesn't forget his first blow job, Autumn," Arianna said. I laughed a little.

Oh, my sister.

**So yeah, I know there hasn't been any James lately. But he'll be in the next chapter.**

** Make sure to go read my one shot, pleaseeeee!**

** Reviews? **


	13. Second Time's Always Better

** :) You guys already know how awesome you are for reviewing, favoriting and alerting. **

** Oh, I started a new story, and it's called **_**I Shouldn't Love You.**_** It's yet another JamesxOC, but it will be a lot more angsty and just…problems in general. It would be super awesome if you could go read that (if you haven't already!) and review.**

** Oh, and this chapter is like, the most important so far, but I pretty much half-assed it. I know, I know, I'm a horrible person!**

It was around midnight on Sunday, and I was sitting in my room reading (about as crazy as I get on Sunday nights,) when I got a text message, sending my phone into a buzzing frenzy.

It was from James.

_Meet me out front? :)_

I smiled, then closed my book and changed into a pair of jeans and a yellow shirt, then slid on a pair of flip-flops before leaving. Arianna was in her room, asleep, surprisingly. But I'm sure she'd go out tomorrow to go find another guy.

I walked down to the lobby, then outside. It was kind of chilly, but compared to what I was used to back home, this was nothing. I saw James over in the parking lot, just leaning against his car patiently. I smiled, then walked over to him.

As I got closer to him, he looked over at me, then practically beamed. He hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back, loving the feeling of his arms around me. He kissed me gently, and leaned back against his car, leaving his arms around me.

"Did you hav-"

"I love you," he said looking up at me and cutting my question off. I couldn't believe it. He…_loved _me? I had been waiting for that. I'd thought it out in my mind, but it was totally different now.

"You do?" I asked, incredulous.

Damn it Autumn! Look what you just did! I thought. Why didn't you just say it back!

"I loved you since the very first day."

Ditto, bro! I thought now.

"I love you too," I said. James smiled up at me, then kissed me again.

But it was different. I knew what this meant.

And I wanted it too.

"Let's go," he said, taking my hand, _knowing _the same things I did.

This was crazy. He and I were literally on the same page. Or wavelength, whatever you wanted to call it. And now I was pretty excited for this.

But then yet again, this was the most effed up relationship I'd ever been in.

I mean, I slept with this guy, didn't talk to him for a week, then we went out. Then I freaked on him for trying to get me to sleep with him again. Then I forgave him. And everything was perfect. And now this.

"Wow," I said, and didn't even realize I had said it out loud. James laughed a little, then looked over at me.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm gonna be totally honest with you," I said. "And it's okay if you don't agree. But we have a really effed up relationship, if you know what I mean."

He laughed again and said "I don't know if effed up would be the right word. I'd say…unusual."

"Okay, maybe that works better," I agreed as we got to his house.

James came around to my side, then opened the door, and I got out and followed him up to the door. He unlocked the door, and I followed him in, then took my shoes off.

"Upstairs?" he asked, looking at me. I looked up at him and nodded, then he took my hand and led the way.

I can't really recall much of the first time I was in this room, and I was just hoping that he would be gentle with me. I didn't like things…rough. Or quick.

That was more Arianna's thing.

James came over, a small smile on his face, then wrapped his arms around my waist before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting him pull me closer.

"You sure about this?" he asked softly after pulling away quickly.

"Definitely," I said slyly, then unbuttoned his black and pink plaid shirt slowly.

Tan skin started to show, and I bit back my smile as I got to higher buttons. He had the greatest abs I'd ever seen, and after I pushed his shirt off, I ran my hands over his upper body, and as he took each breath, I could feel his ab muscle contracting and expanding.

"Do you want to get this moving or would you rather just grope my stomach muscles?" James teased. I looked up at him, then rolled my eyes. I pushed him back and onto his bed, and he kept his eyes on mine, waiting for me.

I slowly pulled off my shirt, making him wait longer than he should, and I could literally see him getting frustrated with me.

"Can you _please _hurry up?" James asked sweetly. I giggled, then let my shirt fall to the floor before straddling his waist, smiling down at him.

"Please tell me you're staying," James said about forty five minutes later as he lay next to me, the blankets up to his underarms, his muscled arms resting by his stomach.

"Why would I be leaving?" I said, sitting up. I picked up James' plaid shirt off the floor, then slid it on and buttoned it up, leaving the top one undone.

"Because you're getting dressed?"

"No, I'm not. Merely putting on your shirt," I told him.

"You know, I find that extremely sexy," he said, wrapping his arms around my mid-section and pulling me closer to him. I giggled, then turned toward him, still sitting up.

"What?" I asked.

"You took _that _shirt off of _me _so _we _could have _sex_. And now _you're _wearing it." I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for that elaborate spelling out of a simple sentence," I said.

"You are more than welcome."

I looked down at him, then smiled before kissing him softly.

"Maybe if you'll be a nice guy I could _keep _this shirt?" I asked, my face still close to his.

"Absolutely you can have it."

"And maybe, just maybe, if you're feeling extra nice, you'll make me breakfast tomorrow?" My hand snuck under the sheets, my finger trailing down his side. He closed his eyes, and let out a breath, and my finger reached his thigh.

"Y-yeah, definitely," he breathed.

Ha! I thought. I found your weak spot.

"Great," I said before kissing him one last time, then lay down next to him.

I lay on my side, and just watched James for a few minutes as he breathing slowed down and he fell asleep. His house was quiet, the fan above me whirring silently. Dim moonlight came through the window, only from the small slant of glass that was still showing from the mostly closed curtain.

I most definitely didn't regret this time, and it made me feel even better that he was in love with me. And I was in love with him.

**Review!**

** And once again, go read **_**I Shouldn't Love You**_**! It would mean a lot if you gave me as much support on the first chapter of that story as you did on this one!**

** Love you guys!**


	14. The Morning After

**Hey guys! Okay, so I just have one thing to say. Victoria, who left me an anonymous review, I literally laughed out loud at that vision in my head! I think it **_**could **_**work, and I'll see if it would fit somewhere in a future chapter. Thank you for the suggestion!**

** Oh wait, one more thing- you guys are so unbelievably awesome with reviewing this story and everything else, and I would LOVE if you could go read my other story and review that. The fourth chapter is up, so PLEASE go read it!**

** Sorry for the long time with no update, but I had writer's block! But, I decided to make this a James POV like two hours ago. I had this entire chapter written, but as I edited it, I hated it! So, I erased it all, and I didn't know what to do. So, I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom with my laptop, and BAM! I was like "Make it a James POV!" and alas, new chapter :)**

_James_

The sun was in my eyes, and it was bothering me. I rolled over, and there the brunette beauty was still in my bed. So I didn't imagine it. That's good.

For a while there I thought I was.

She lay on her back, her brown hair all over the place, and she was wearing my plaid shirt. God, how hot was that? I was glad I told her she could keep it. It probably looked better on her than it did on me.

To put it simply, last night was unreal. Unlike the first time, which I didn't really remember, the second time was _amazing. _The girl was good with her hands. She practically killed me with the way she was touching me.

It started when she was rubbing all up in my abs, but then it just went from there. But the thing I liked the most, which will probably sound weird, was how much of a tease she was with those hands.

She'd string it along, and then right before I was about to lose it, she'd stop. Man, that drove me over the fucking edge.

And the thing that made it even worse was that she _knew _what she was doing to me. And then she giggled. She giggled a lot last night. I'm not complaining, though. I'm not complaining about anything that happened last night.

She was fucking fantastic to say the least. I really am at a loss of words.

A shrill sound rang through the room, and Autumn jerked awake. I knew it wasn't mine because mine was dead, and I was about to ask her if she wanted me to get it when she got up and walked across the room. She dug through her purse, then pressed it to her ear.

"Hello?" she said into the phone.

Her back was to me, and I just stared at her for a moment. Her long brown hair looked curlier than usual, and it spilled down her back. That plaid shirt of mine that she was wearing only went down two or three inches past her ass, which only made her tan legs look longer.

"Already?" she said, jerking me out of my thoughts. Autumn stayed silent for a few moments, and she nodded then said "That's great!"

I smiled, glad to see her happy. I assumed it was about her book, but, I didn't know. It could be about anything.

"Okay," she said now, jotting something down on a piece of paper. "I will. Thank you."

She hung up the phone, then set it down on my dresser before placing her hands on her hips, and looking down at the paper. She nodded, seeming satisfied, then turned around.

"Hey," I said, smiling. Autumn gave me a look, then walked over to me, arms crossed over her chest.

"Hey?" she said. "That's _all _you have to say?"

"You're awesome?" I guessed. She giggled.

Damn that giggle! I thought.

"Hey is just kinda awkward," she said, sitting down next to me. "Normal people say something like good morning, or get the hell out."

I laughed as she leaned back on her hands, stretching those long, tan legs out in front of her.

"Get the hell out?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yup."

"Normal people do not say that," I said.

"Yes they do! Ask my sister."

"Arianna? The one who sleeps around?"

"Yes, her. And yes, that's exactly why. Sometimes she brings a guy home that she's totally fine with at night, but if they do or say something wrong in the morning, that's what she tells them," Autumn explained.

"Ah," I said.

"Speaking of Arianna, she told me yesterday she wants to meet the guys," she added.

"Wait has she gotten here yet?" I asked.

"Yeah, she came in the yesterday." I nodded.

"Okay. I'm sure you guys could come to the studio tomorrow and she could meet them," I said now.

"Alright, I'll let her know."

I sat up, then picked my boxers up off the floor and pulled them on before throwing the blankets off. I put on a pair of sweatpants, then clapped my hands together as I walked toward the door.

I turned back to Autumn, and she was giving me a look.

"I promised you breakfast didn't I?" I said, and she smiled, then stood up.

"I'll be down in a minute," she said, and I nodded, headed for the stairs. I walked to the kitchen, then started a pot of coffee before pulling out all the ingredients I would need to make omelets.

It was kind of an obvious fact that I was amazing at making omelets. No one could make them better than me. Not even the guys tried to undermine that fact.

A moment later, Autumn appeared, still wearing my shirt. And _just _my shirt. She sat down at the island, and smiled at me when I looked over at her.

"I hope you like omelets," I said to her.

"Love omelets!" she said.

Damn, this girl was seriously my perfect match. She was gorgeous and sweet, and smart, and I never knew what was going to happen when she was around.

But as I looked over at her again, she looked different. She looked confused and nervous. Was that call not what she expected? Or was it something else?


	15. Worrying

**Don't hate me for being MIA with this story…**

** And why the hell is it snowing? WTF man! Is it snowing where you guys live? If you can't tell, I'm not in a very good mood. Because it's snowing. Screw the snow. Where are the shirtless hotties!**

When I got home this morning after come back from James' house, Arianna wasn't around, and I figured she probably assumed I was at a meeting or something.

Well, I wasn't.

But, I did have good news for my older sister. James said that since Arianna wanted to meet the guys we could come to the studio tomorrow and she could meet them all. As long as she didn't bring them home while I was around, I didn't care what she did. I didn't need those scars for life from hearing those kinds of things.

I went through my bedroom to my bathroom, then turned on my shower. I looked at myself in the mirror, and grinned as I saw James' shirt. I was still wearing it, and I really liked it, and as I took it off, I could faintly smell James.

I didn't know what it was, but I really liked it.

I took a quick shower, then pulled on a pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt afterwards. I was beyond tired, even though I didn't really know why, so I flopped down onto my bed. I'd had this weird feeling all day, and it was like I was worried about something. But what could I possibly be worried about?

"Aud?" I heard Arianna call, and I let out a sigh, not wanting to get up.

"In here," I called, and a few moments later, she appeared in my doorway, then smiled.

"Hey doll," she said, sitting down on my bed next to me.

"Hey babe," I said.

"What up with the stupid grin?"

"What?" I asked, looking over at my sister.

"You have a stupid grin. What happened?"

"Nothing," I said, sliding down onto my back and looking away.

"Autumn," she said sternly.

"What?" I asked, laughing now. She must have figured it out, because she smirked.

"You whore!" she said, smacking my arm. Yeah, she definitely figured it out.

"How does sleeping with my boyfriend make me a whore?"

"You just admitted it!" Arianna said.

"So I did."

"Well?" she asked, giving me a look. I sighed, then spilled everything, from the beginning.

"…But we might have a problem," I finished about ten minutes later. I was still lying on my back, and Arianna was on her side, leaning on her elbow, and she raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of problem?"

"I don't think we used…protection." I swallowed. Damn it! That had to have been what I had been worrying about all day.

"You're not on birth control?" she asked me, almost demanding.

"Why would I be? I've only slept with one other person, and that was a year and a half ago," I explained.

"Well, shit, you may have a big problem."

"Don't say that!" I said loudly, then threw my pillow over my face.

I couldn't possibly be pregnant, could I?

No, there was no way I could.

"Look, it's not a big deal. Just relax, and then take a test in two weeks," she said, trying to get me to calm down.

"What if it's not what I'm expecting?"

"Stop thinking about it," Arianna said, throwing the pillow to the floor.

I had these kinds of talks with Arianna because I had no one else to. I didn't know my mom, and my other older sister was a lying, sabotaging bitch. No way would I have a heart to heart with her.

So Arianna became my motherly figure. Sure, she could be immature and irresponsible, but when she needed to, she could be super smart and know exactly what to do.

"Just take a deep breath and forget about it, okay?" she said. I nodded, pushing the thought to the back of my mind.

The next day at around one, Arianna and I were walking through the studio to James' dressing room, so she could meet him and the guys. She kept rambling on about them, yet she hadn't even met them yet, her ponytailed hair swinging back and forth as we walked down the hall.

We got to James' dressing room, and the door was slightly ajar, and I peeked in, and he was sitting on his couch, looking down at what I assumed was a script.

I opened the door, which squeaked, and James looked over, then smiled once he saw it was me. He dropped his script onto the table, then stood up, and I walked further into the room, and Arianna followed.

James gave me a fake mean look, and I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me. He was upset that she was with me. I bit back my giggle, and Arianna smiled at him.

"Hi," she said, giving a small wave.

"Hi," he said back, smiling. "James."

"Arianna."

"Ah, Arianna. Autumn's told me about you."

Arianna stifled a laugh. "Oh did she?"

I gave her a sweet smile, and she rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I came to meet the other guys. Where are they?" she asked.

James laughed, then said "Just go right down the hall. They're probably all in Logan's room."

"Kay thanks," she called, then left, and James closed the door behind her, leaving it opened slightly.

James hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back, loving the feeling of his arms around me. He squeezed me gently, and I giggled, then he pulled away, his hands on my hips now. He kissed me, and I grinned against his lips.

"Hi," he said, his face only a few inches away from mine.

"Hi," I said, smiling. I squirmed out of his grip, then sat down on his couch with a sigh, and he sat down next to me.

"I had fun the other night," he said, nudging me with his elbow.

"Stop," I said, pushing his arm away. He laughed, then pushed me down onto my back, and he hovered over me. He was about to lean down and kiss me when I covered his mouth with my hand. "Your door is open," I pointed out.

"Let them hear it," James said. I smacked his arm, and he made a face. "Ow."

"That's gross," I said.

"You love it," he said, then kissed me. I laughed against his lips.

"No I don't," I mumbled as he continued to kiss me.

And then I remembered it.

The thing I wasn't supposed to be thinking about.

I pushed James away gently and sat up, making him do the same.

"We need to talk," I said softly.

I looked over at him, and he swallowed.

"Okay, about what?" he asked, putting his hand on top of mine.

"We might have a small problem."

**Ooh, cliffy!**

** Review!**


	16. Confession

**Alright kiddos, important announcement. I'm having a small dilemma with my other story. I don't know if the rating needs to be bumped up or not on my other story. If you haven't read it, please do so and answer the poll on my profile about it. Please and thank you :) **

** I'm just really paranoid about it, and I need your opinions….so, thanks once again.**

** So this is really short. I wanted to put up an update but I didn't want to do too much in this chapter. **

** Oh, something else too. I feel really stupid for asking this, but how do you do a page break? If someone could tell me that, I'd love you forever!**

** Another thing. I'm starting a new "story" even though it's just a bunch of random one-shots. It's called **_**Stories of Our Lives, **_**so go check it out and review. I'm taking requests, and they can center around any guy, so don't be shy to ask! I'll be happy to write one! Anyway, seriously, go read it and review :) **

I just sat there for a moment, looking over at James. He was waiting patiently, looking back.

"I-I might be…" I shook my head, not able to finish the sentence.

"Be what?" James said.

"Pregnant," I said, so softly I swear he couldn't hear me. His face changed, and he looked utterly shocked.

"F-from the other night?" Despite my wanting to make a sarcastic comment, I just nodded.

And then I just broke down right there, even though I tried my hardest not to. The tears poured out of my eyes, and James wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest.

"This can't- I can't-" I tried to make a coherent sentence, but my mind was too jumbled, and my feelings were too mixed to think of something.

"Just relax," he cooed softly, holding me closer.

"James, I-I can't be pregnant. I'm not ready for this," I managed to say.

"I know babe, I'm not either."

"But-but you'll stay with me if I am, right? I mean, you wouldn't just leave me would you?"

"I wouldn't even think about it," he said, kissing my head.

I buried my face deeper in his t-shirt, feeling guilty for dropping this on him while he was working. Now all he would be thinking about was if his life was going to be ruined or not. Even though he did say he would stay with me doesn't mean he will.

I mean, I watched Teen Mom. They all said "Oh, we're going to stay together," and then boom, two months later, they were done. I didn't want that. I didn't want a baby yet.

I was still in school, I was still growing up.

I wanted to be a few years older and married before even _thinking _about having a baby. God, of course I would ruin my life. Audrina and Arianna have been sleeping around for years, and they've been totally fine, and I sleep with my _boyfriend _and this happens to me.

Gosh, my dad would totally kill me if I'm pregnant. He told me that coming out to LA would be a bad idea, and that I'd "only get into trouble." And now, if this happened, he would be right, and he would take me out of school and fly me back out to New Jersey in a heartbeat.

"Oh my god James, what am I going to do?" I muttered, my voice muffled by the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Shh," he said, rubbing my back. "Everything's going to be fine, okay?" I nodded against his body, even though I felt like they wouldn't. "You'll just take the test in two weeks, then let me know, okay? Then we'll work it out from there."

I sniffled and nodded again. James was being so patient and sweet, and I was just hoping he was being sincere. All I hoped was that no one else would find out about this.

**OKAY, DUDES! I JUST DECIDED THIS, LIKE RIGHT NOW. I WILL HAVE A POLL PERTAINING TO THIS STORY ON MY PROFILE. YOU **_**MUST **_**GO VOTE BECAUSE I NEED HELP WITH THE FUTURE OF THE STORY.**

** That's all. Hopefully that wasn't too pushy…**

**And sorry that this is so short. This will never happen again. I hope you still love me and leave a review :)**


	17. Life Changing Moment

**So, you guys totally came through for the poll, and to be totally honest, I like the outcome from it. I'll tell you what the question was at the end of the chapter :)**

** Sorry for the no updates lately, and sorry that this is really crappy. It'll get better, I promise!**

** Just so you know this kinda skips ahead a few days because…I wanted it to.**

** Oh! Who watched the Royal Wedding? I did, and I LOVED it! **

I couldn't eat, and I couldn't sleep. It kind of sucked, actually, being so anxious for that one day which could ultimately change my life. I mean, yeah, I was about to turn twenty one, but I wasn't married, or even engaged, and I _could _be pregnant.

Thankfully, it was still July, so school hadn't started yet, so that stress wasn't around yet. Speaking of July, James' birthday was coming up in a week and a half, and I still had to get him something. But, that was the _least _of my worrying.

Oh, **and **my book premiere was coming up. I almost forgot that in the midst of everything else. It was in three days, and I was excited, but not nearly as excited as I wanted to be.

I was at James' house, sitting on his couch, not the least bit worried about Arianna. After she met the guys, although she immediately attracted all three of them, she took a liking herself to Logan, who wasn't hesitant to go party with her. I had a bad, yet really good feeling, about them.

I was exhausted, so I lay down on James' couch and curled myself up. If I was this tired after about twelve days of broken sleep, I don't know what it would be like if I had a baby and didn't get a full night of sleep for at least a year.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I opened my eyes and James stood next to me, looking down at me. I shook my head, then he sat down next to me.

"I wanna stay here with you," I said, curling up next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close and I closed my eyes and buried my head in his chest.

"Tomorrow's the day," I whispered into his shirt. He rubbed his hands up and down my back, and I took in a shaky breath. Yes, tomorrow was the day I would find out if I was pregnant or not. And to be totally honest, I was scared out of my mind.

"You'll be okay, babe," James cooed, kissing my head. "Just relax."

That night, I decided against going home because I knew in the mentality I was in that I'd end up calling James as soon as I got home and ranting on him, again. And he was fine with me staying, and he didn't have to go to work the next day until one.

So now I lay in his bed, wearing this royal blue shirt of his that smelled like him, wrapped up in his arms. I knew he wasn't asleep yet because he was rubbing my arm comfortingly, but I assumed he thought I was asleep since I had my eyes closed. But I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep tonight.

At least, not anytime soon.

Although, I did have to grin at the fact that James was telling me things would be okay. I knew deep down that he'd pull through for me no matter what. Over the past month or so, especially these past two weeks, our relationship had gotten a lot stronger. We'd gotten closer in general, and we told each other everything. He was like my best friend now.

He supported my thoroughly with everything I did, and I was just hoping my support toward him was adequate. I figured if he hadn't broken up with me yet that it was at least up to his standards.

(Page Break.)

The next morning, I woke up when I felt a gentle kiss placed on my lips, and I sighed happily, smiling a little as I opened my eyes. James was standing next to the bed, looking down at me with a smile on his face, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was wet, and I knew he had probably gone for his "morning run."

"Morning gorgeous," he said as I sat up. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get used to the outrageous amount of sunlight coming through the windows.

"Morning," I smiled.

"I didn't want to wake you up, but your sister's downstairs and she said it was important."

I gave him a puzzled look as I stood up, but then it hit me, sending a shiver down over my body. Friday. Today was the day. Was I pregnant, or wasn't I?

"Oh, jeez," I said, sliding on my denim shorts under James' t-shirt. "I know why she's here."

I brushed past him, then headed down the stairs, and found Arianna sitting on the couch in a pair of dark washed shorts and a white tank-top, her purse sitting next to her as she picked at her nails.

"Ari, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, and she snapped her head up to look at me.

"I brought you your test," she said, seeming confused.

"This couldn't have waited until later?"

She dug through her purse for a moment, then pulled something out and stood up. She handed it to me, a small white box, and I sighed.

"Really?" Arianna nodded, and I took it from her as James came down the stairs. He came over to me, and we shared a look and he nodded, silently telling me to do this. I walked down the hall to the bathroom, then locked the door behind me.

It was sitting there, staring up at me, but I refused to look at it. I hadn't unlocked, or even opened the door, for almost two full minutes, and my hands were starting to shake. I could feel my palms starting to sweat, and I stood with my leg shaking in anxiety with my back to the sink, where my future sat.

I waited over two minutes, just to be sure, then licked my lips as I turned around. I took a step closer to the sink, then looked down at the little white stick, grasping my hands on the sides of the hard marble.

I swallowed hard, then picked the test up, almost falling out of my wildly shaking hands now, and then went over to the door and unlocked it before opening it.

I stepped out into the hallway, and Arianna and James both stopped their pacing and looked over at me. They were both standing there with wide eyes, the same expression on their face. I shrugged slightly, and for a moment they looked relieved.

"I-I'm pregnant."

**Ooh, cliffy! If you couldn't already figure it out, the poll question was if Autumn should be pregnant or not. And, the majority picked yes, and alas.**

** Review! **


	18. Changes

**GUYS! It's so nice to be back! Sorry for being gone for so long! But I had finals to study for, and I just finished up school, so now I've got ALL summer to write! YAY!**

** And, something else important. I wrote a one-shot called Tears From Heaven, and I worked really hard on it and it's something that I really love. So it would mean the WORLD to me if you went and read it and reviewed!**

** An update of I Shouldn't Love You will be coming up soon, too, so keep an eye out for it!**

** Review!**

I stood there in the hallway of James' house, and him and Arianna just stared at me for a moment, I guess disbelieving what they had just heard. I couldn't believe I was pregnant either. And frankly, I was terrified of it already.

I thought I was going to cry, but I just stood there, staring at James, and Arianna bit her lip. I knew she felt bad that she brought this on me now, but it would've happened eventually. I couldn't blame anything on her. This was all my fault.

James stepped closer, then wrapped his arms around my neck and held me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his midsection as I buried my head in his chest, and then I heard Arianna walking away quietly, which I appreciated. I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed my eyes, pushing the tears down that threatened to spill out. James rubbed his hands up and down my back soothingly, and I took in a shaky breath.

"Everything's going to be okay," he whispered into my hair.

"Promise you won't leave?" I asked, looking up to him. I sounded like a six year old, pitiful and whiny.

"I promise," he said, his hands on either side of my face. I nodded, even though a part of me didn't believe him. He must have picked up on it because he tilted my face up towards his to look at him, his eyes serious. "I'm not going anywhere, Autumn. I love you."

I nodded once again. "I love you too," I choked out, and a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

(Page Break.)

For the rest of the day, I spent it on James' couch, curled up next to him as he stroked my hair. We were silent for the most part, thinking about how _everything _was going to change. I didn't even want to have this kind of stress right now, with school starting in a month and a half, and my book premiere in just two days.

"Hey," he said softly as we watched a movie. We hadn't said anything for an hour or so, and I was half asleep. "Can we talk about something?"

I sat up, swallowing. Oh shit, he was going to drop the bomb on me. He couldn't do this anymore. It had been six hours, and he's already done with me.

"Yeah, sure," I said, sitting up to look at him.

"I don't really know how you'll feel about this," he said, looking down at my hands. His fingers brushed over my skin, and I just stared at him, waiting for him to finish. "But I was thinking that maybe it would be better if you, um, moved in here. So you wouldn't be alone." He looked up at me finally, but he was nervous.

Oh, wow, this was the complete opposite of what I thought. He wanted to take this to a whole other level, not get rid of me.

"Really?" I asked, not fully believing him, and he nodded.

"Really. Then I'd be here when you needed something, and…that's really all I have." I smiled, then felt myself nodding.

This would be a good change. And it would be really nice to be in the same place as James. It would help our relationship, and really everything, just living in the same house.

"I'd really like to do that," I said, grabbing onto his hand.

"What about Arianna?"

"Oh gosh, I totally forgot she was here. And I don't even know when she's leaving."

"I don't think she's going to ever leave," James said, and I gave him a look.

"Why?"

"I think her and Logan have a thing."

"Since when?"

"Since the day she met him."

How could she not tell me about this! I thought.

"Did Logan tell you this?" I asked, and he nodded.

"He told me they went out the day after they met, and they spend every night together now. You know, going to clubs and all that."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. God, my sister and her clubs. I couldn't believe she had found a guy who was willing to go with her.

"Well, I'm glad she found someone," I said.

"You should just tell her to move in with Logan," James suggested, and I smacked his arm.

"Then they'll be sleeping together," I said. "Like Arianna needs that."

"I'm sure they've already done that," he said, and I gave him a look.

"Oh?"

"Us guys just know. And by the way he looked when he came into work the other day, something happened between them."

I sighed, sinking down onto the couch. "Gosh. She's spending all this time with one guy? This is strangely different."

"And if she doesn't want to move in with Logan yet," James said, getting back to the subject. I laid my head in his lap and looked up at him, waiting for him to finish. "She could always just stay here. I have extra bedrooms down here."

"You're too sweet," I said softly.

"You're too gorgeous," he said, looking down at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Stop telling me lies," I said dramatically, and he laughed. I closed my eyes and thought about how even though one big thing will change your everyday life, other things will follow. Other better things. Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought.

Maybe I could do this. Maybe James wouldn't leave. Maybe my sister would fall in love.

We'd have to wait and see. But as for now, things were starting to look okay.


	19. Support

**Well, I'm starting my summer off well, aren't I? I feel like I'll be getting lots of updates, which I'm sure all of you are glad about too!**

**Hey! You should also check out my other story, I Shouldn't Love You. I updated it yesterday, a brand new, fresh chapter, and if you haven't read it yet, please do so! It's angstier than this, and I think all of you will like it! And if you have already been reading it, read the new chapter and review!**

**And I finally remembered the page break this time! Woo!**

**Love you guys!**

I shut the door quietly behind me, then set my keys down on the kitchen counter, along with my bag. After spending all day with James and hearing encouraging words from him, I felt much better, and I was excited to tell Arianna about our new plans.

Her bedroom door was shut, and I walked over to it and opened it a little. She had a lamp and her TV on, and she was sitting on her bed, her fluffy white blankets pulled up to her stomach.

She smiled at me, then patted her bed. "Hey."

"Hey," I said, sitting down next to her and pulling my feet up beside me.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"A lot better," I answered truthfully, and I really did.

"I'm glad," she said, then her phone buzzed. She picked it up, squinted at the screen, then giggled.

"Is that from Logan?" I asked, a grin on my face. Arianna looked over at me.

"What?"

"James told me what was going on between you two," I said, poking her. "Don't even try to deny it."

She looked down as her face flushed, and I laughed. "Ari's got a boyfriend, Ari's got a boyfriend," I teased.

"I do not," she said, pouting.

"Yes you do. Why is that so hard for you to admit?" I asked her, seriously wanting to know.

"Because I've never felt like this," she said softly, seeming embarrassed by this. "I'm used to seeing a guy once or twice, not every day."

"But aren't you happy?"

"I don't know what to feel." She sighed, sinking down onto her back. "Logan isn't like the other guys I've known. He makes me want to kill myself."

"In a good way?"

Arianna smacked me. "Yes, in a good way!"

"With you, it could be either," I said. She rolled her eyes.

"So what did James think?" she asked. I couldn't believe we had made it this far without talking about this morning, and I wanted to know what she thought too.

"He's not leaving," I sighed, smiling a little. I honestly still couldn't believe it. He wasn't going to leave me even though I just changed his life dramatically.

"Well, that's good."

"What about you? How do you feel about this?"

"Dad's not gonna like it," she said, ignoring my question.

"I know that, Ari. But what about _you_. You don't hate me, do you?"

"I could never hate you, doll. I'm just…surprised."

"You're not going to tell dad are you?" I asked.

"I can't," she said, shrugging. "You have to do that."

"Gosh, what's with you and telling the truth now?"

"Damn, this is Logan's fault," she said. I laughed.

"You love him!" I teased. She shook her head.

"Get the hell out," she said, pushing me off her bed playfully. I walked to the door, but then turned back, a grin on my face.

"Thanks," I said. "Love you babe." She smiled.

"Love you too doll." I shut the door behind me, then went into my bedroom, so ready to take a shower and go to bed.

But I kept thinking about how I was going to tell my dad this. He would be here in two days, the morning of my book premiere, so he could come to the party. I suppose I had to tell him then, so he could let it sink it, so he could yell at me, so he could disown me.

Or, I could just keep it a secret, it's not like I was showing yet, and then the next time I saw him, I could just say, "Oh, hey, you have a grandkid now."

No, I couldn't do that to my dad. He had done so much for me, and I couldn't keep something like this from him.

* * *

The next day at around noon, I had one last meeting with Jenna to talk about a few last details about my party tomorrow night. I had gotten up that morning, feeling slightly woozy, but thankfully it went away by the time I had to leave.

I walked into Jenna's office, then sat down in a chair across from her, and my skirt felt tighter than it should have. I probably should stop wearing high waisted skirts. What the hell? I hadn't even gained weight, so why was I feeling like this? And why so soon? God, it was just lowering my self-esteem.

"So, Autumn," Jenna said, smiling. "Are you excited?"

I looked up at her, only half hearing her, being caught up in my own thoughts, but smiled anyway.

I nodded. "Very."

"So you know it starts at eight at the downtown Hilton's ballroom," she started, and I nodded. I knew a bunch of people we're going to be there, mostly friends of mine, but I knew Jenna would be there with some other people who were associates or something like that.

I was there for about half an hour, going over details with Jenna, and when she let me go after we said goodbye, I felt relieved when I stood up. Damn this skirt. I dug through my bag for my phone, my heels clicking on the linoleum floor, and immediately called James as I walked to my car.

He didn't pick up, and I sighed heavily, forgetting that he was working today. I didn't know when his break was, but I was hoping it was soon, because I just wanted to talk to him. I just needed to hear from him that I was going to be okay and that I wasn't fat.

After I heard the beep, I sighed again, then said "It's me. Could you just…call me back when you get the chance?" I sounded pitiful, and I wanted to cry. Damn these hormones, too.

I didn't think all of this was supposed to be happening so soon, but I guess it was different for everyone. And if this was just the beginning, I couldn't imagine what it would be like in three months, in six months, in nine months.

"I guess I'll talk to you later," I said now into the phone. "Love you."

I pressed end, then threw my phone into my bag before unlocking my car and getting in, ready to head home and change into a pair of sweatpants.

When I got home about ten minutes later, I walked into my apartment and heard laughing and the TV. I went into the living room and Arianna and Logan were sitting on the couch, her legs propped up on his lap as she sat next to him.

"Hey," she said, smiling, when she saw me.

"Hey," I said. "Hey Logan."

"What's up Autumn?"

"Nothing much," I said, feeling a little awkward. The last time I was around Logan he was hitting on me, and now he was with my sister. What a weird world. I wonder if Arianna had told him about me, or if James had told him what was going on.

I sure hoped not. No one else needed to know right now. This was a matter between James and I, and I told the closest person to me, my motherly figure.

And then it hit me.

I was going to be a mother.

And I didn't have a mother.

I turned and went into my room, then closed the door behind me. I can't believe this hadn't hit me before. How was I going to be able to take care of a newborn when I had no experience, and I didn't have my mom here to help me?

I suddenly lost it, and I started crying, and I could feel my make-up running. I pulled off my skirt and top, then found a pair of green sweatpants and that plaid shirt of James' that I still had.

The next nine months were going to be a shock, every day, as new things came about, and I was praying that each day I'd still have the same support I had now, and even more.


	20. Before the Craziness

**Hello lovelies :) I hope you like this, because trust me; the next few chapters are really going to be crazy. Here's a sneak peek: The next chapter is a James POV, so we'll finally see what he really thinks about Autumn's news. The next one after that, we'll meet Autumn's dad and it'll be her party. And then…Drama :)**

**And this is kind of a filler. Seriously, nothing really happens…**

**But, you should REVIEW!**

I woke up to my phone buzzing, and I sighed into my pillow before reaching over blindly to my bedside table and grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Autumn." It was James, and I sat up, leaning against my pillows. I had called him after I left my meeting with Jenna around three, and then I came home and pretty much cried myself to sleep. "What's wrong, beautiful?"

I smiled a little, just at him for using a cute name on me. "I just feel fat and ugly and god James, if this is starting now, imagine what it's going to be like in nine months." Everything just came out and once, and James was trying to get me to calm down.

"Whoa, whoa," he said. "You're not fat or ugly, and you never will be. You're just having a bad day." I sighed heavily, and leaned into my pillows. I could hear something in the background, something like pots and pans, and my stomach growled.

"Are you making food?" I asked.

"Well that really perked you up," James said, chuckling. "And yes, I just got home, so I'm making food."

"You should bring me some."

"Do you want me to?"

"No! I could never ask you to do that."

"I could come get you and bring you over here and you can stay for the night. Or a few days." I grinned.

"I would, but I still need to tell Arianna about me moving in with you. I can't just leave her here."

"When are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. When I got home, Logan was here, so I didn't want to talk about it then. But if she's alone later, I'll tell her then."

"Let me know when you do. Then we'll get everything set for you to move here," he said, and I nodded.

"I will," I said. "I love you."

"I love you too," James said, and I could practically hear him smiling. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, then got up and headed for the kitchen. Arianna was sitting on the couch, no sign of Logan. "Hey," I said, going over to sit next to her. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "What's up?"

I sighed, hoping she wouldn't get mad at me for sounding like a horrible host. I wasn't saying she had to leave, because James did say she was welcome to stay at his house, and I didn't really want her to leave.

"Um, James asked me to move in with him yesterday," I told her straight out.

"That's great!" she said, nudging me. "Now you two can be together."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I sound like I'm kicking you out?" Arianna sighed.

"I was going to go home with dad when he was going to leave. You know, he'll be here tomorrow, then gone like two days after and I was going to go with him," she explained. "But I don't wanna leave Logan."

"Well, James did say you could come to his house. If you'd still be here when I went over there."

"Thanks for the offer, babe," she said, hugging me. "We'll see how it works out."

I grinned, hugging her back. "Alright."

And then I remembered those words she just said. My dad would be here tomorrow! And my party was tomorrow! Oh god I felt like I was going to throw up. I stood up, then went into my room, and into my closet. I had to make sure that dress I bought with Arianna was still there and that I was sure I wanted to wear it.

It was still there, in the back with all my other fancier dresses, perfectly on the hanger. I was a little anxious about how this was going to go down tomorrow, what my dad would say about both me and Arianna dating someone.

He probably wasn't going to like it.

But I was excited to see him. It had been quite a while. A lot's changed since the last time I went to New Jersey to visit him. Especially one big thing. Which my dad would not be told about. Well, tomorrow at least. Maybe the next morning. Or maybe not. I was still torn on that one.

"Aud!" Arianna called, and I walked into my bedroom and she walked into the room, a smile on her face. "James is here."

"What?" I said, brushing past her.

James was standing in front of the door, a container of something in his hand, wearing jeans and a t-shirt like always.

"I told you not to do this," I said as Arianna went into her bedroom and shut the door.

James smiled, then kissed me gently, and I kissed him back. "But I couldn't let my favorite girl starve." I laughed.

"I wasn't going to starve," I told him, going into the kitchen and pulling out some plates and forks. "What did you bring?"

"Chicken parmesan," he said.

"Damn, you're too perfect."

He rolled his eyes, and was about to disagree with him, but I shot him a look and he didn't say anything.

* * *

After James and I ate dinner, we sat down on the couch to watch a movie, and Arianna appeared in the middle of it, all dolled up like usual, going out with Logan. That was probably half an hour ago already, and now I was cuddled up with James under the big, yellow blanket, watching some movie. Frankly, I didn't know what it was called, and I didn't really care. I wasn't watching it, too tired, really, and I was just enjoying the moment with James.

"Aud?"

I lifted my head off James' shoulder and opened my half closed eyes, then looked over at him.

"Huh?"

"I said do you want me to go so you can sleep?"

He was always so freaking considerate. Whoever said actors were conceited and rude were completely wrong. Because James was nowhere near that, and I loved him for that. Not being like that, I mean.

He was beyond sweet, and probably had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. He was so caring and gentle, and would do anything for anything.

And I knew in that moment he'd be a fantastic father.


	21. Part Of Me

**ELLO! I know it's been a while, and I'm sure some of you are waiting for an update of I Shouldn't Love You, and that'll be here soon. But! I haven't gotten anything written lately because my computer froze on me and I had to get it fixed, and turns out I lost all my documents and AHHH! It was crazy the past week. But! Thankfully I knew what I wanted for this chapter (and for the next one of ISLY!) and I know it's short, but it's a James POV, and they always are and I wanted you guys to have something to read.**

**Alright, I shall stop ranting and let you read this. And Review?**

_James_

She was pregnant. I still had trouble really perceiving it, but I wasn't angry or upset. I couldn't just blame it on her, because in reality, it was all my fault. I was the one who initiated everything, the one who took her to my house and got her into my bed.

But could I see myself with her, for the rest of my life? Could I see myself married to her, raising this child? Yes.

Some people might say it's too early for this. But Autumn was special, and I didn't have a doubt in my mind about her, about us. I knew since I met her that she was different, and she was. I wasn't worried about having any big problems with her that would lead to a huge argument and end our relationship. I knew her like the back of my hand now, and we didn't disagree on much. What I'd learned so far was that they were all little petty things that didn't really matter.

Right now, I was lying in her bed, which had that sweet floral scent that she always smelled like. She hadn't wanted me to leave, and I didn't have to be at the studio until eleven, so I gladly stayed.

I knew that Autumn was having trouble with this, still getting used to all the changes, and to be honest, I was too. I didn't really know if I was completely ready to be a father, but I had nine months to prepare myself, and it's not like I was doing this alone.

And I didn't have a doubt in my mind about Autumn. I knew she would make an amazing mother, seeing how caring she was toward me and her sister and everyone else.

I looked over at her in the dark, and smiled at how gorgeous she looked. She was lying on her side, her arms curled up under her face, her wavy hair falling all over the place. I could see the fading tan lines under her tank top, from the thin strapped bikini she wore at the beach a few days ago.

I took her to the beach the other day, to try and get her mind off of everything, and it worked. We spent the day there, laughing and smiling, and it was just perfect. Not that things now weren't perfect, because they were. They really were. We were thrown an obstacle, and we were going to get through it.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to dim sunlight and violent coughing. I sat up quickly, blinking a few times as I adjusted to the light. I rubbed my eyes as I looked over in the direction of the bathroom. The door was closed, but the light was on, and I heard water running. I got up and walked over to the door, then gently knocked on the door before opening it.

Autumn was there, wiping her hands on a towel. Her hair was a mess, and she ran her hands through it and pushed it out of her face.

"You okay, babe?" I asked her, stepping closer. She closed her eyes and nodded her head.

"Just morning sickness," she said. I nodded. "But I'm okay now. I just want to go back to bed."

I grinned, then swiftly picked her up, and she laughed a little, wrapping an arm around my neck. "I'll accompany you," I said. I laid her down on her bed, and she looked up at me.

"Sorry for waking you," she said. I smiled, then hovered over her for a moment, and kissed her softly.

"Don't be sorry," I said, then kissed her again, and I let her kiss me back before lying down next to her and pulling her toward me. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I could faintly smell her shampoo, and I wrapped an arm around her back. I stroked her hair, and she curled up next to me and closed her eyes.

"Are you worried?" Autumn asked softly. I looked down at her.

"Worried about what?"

"About everything. Our relationship, your job…our baby?"

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about how this was going to affect my job and her going to school. How could I be so damn stupid not to even see that? I'd have to take off of work, which probably wouldn't make the producers too happy, so I probably had to tell them about this soon. Would Autumn even be able to finish school at all? I mean, money wouldn't be too much of a problem, with me being on the show and concerts and events and things like that, but she was someone who always finished what she started. She took the bull by the horns, and succeeded at everything she did.

All I could hope was that it would be the same now.

"No," I told her, pulling her closer, and part of me knew that was true.


	22. Serious Talks

**GUYS! Important announcements! I'm working on a one-shot right now, which was a request, and if you read Tears From Heaven (and if you haven't, you should and review!), then you're gonna wanna read this new one-shot. It's basically a look at James and Gabriella's relationship before everything happened. (I didn't want to say what went down in case you haven't read it but are going to.) BUT ANYWAY! Keep an eye out for that.**

** Also! I was watching Big Time Concert today, and I got an idea for a one-shot. Kind of like a mini I Shouldn't Love You. Except James and this girl, who is yet to be named, were dating before they left, but they never broke up, and then the guys get taken back to Minnesota and then, you know, other things ensue. I may change what actually goes on in the episode to fit my needs. **

** But, just wondering since you guys are here, would you like to see the second one-shot idea? I haven't even started it yet, and I don't know if you guys would be interested in reading it, so let me know please! **

** On another completely irrelevant note, I was listening to Oh Yeah, and am I the only one who's taking it in a dirty way? I don't think it's just me, it can't be! SERIOUSLY! The lyrics can really only be taken the dirty way. But yeah, just thought I'd tell you guys that every time I listen to James "I see you standing there all alone, knowing you've been wanting me to say hello. Cause when the lights start flashing everybody knows it's on, it's on, it's on," I just imagine him in a club, staring at some girl with a look like **_**I'm taking you home tonight. **_**But I'm not bothered the song is so damn dirty. And is it coincidence that's the only song the guys helped write? I think not.**

**HEY! We're also really close to 100 reviews! Can we break that with this chapter? :)**

** As always, I've talked too much, but this time it was wayyy too much, and I hope you actually read all that cause it was important for the most part. But, please enjoy the chapter and review :)**

My hands were shaking, and the nervousness in the pit of my stomach wasn't going away anytime soon. I sat on the couch, James' arm around my shoulders, keeping me close. Arianna and Logan were sitting on the love seat, and they were talking and giggling to each other, and James and I had to have some self-control and not say anything embarrassing. They were both here because my dad was going to be here any moment and Arianna and I wanted our dad to meet the guys.

And I was sure once Dad heard the word boyfriend, he'd sit the guys down and give them a talk. He'd tell them not to hurt us because he'd hurt them, and blah blah blah, everything else he always told every guy who ever came to our house.

There was a knock on the door, and Arianna and I shared a look before we literally ran over to the door and threw it open. "Dad!" I squealed, then hugged him tightly.

Dad was just as tall as me, very tan skin, dark features and he was a little bulky. He was loud, like Arianna, but he was hilarious and always made me cry from laughing so hard.

"Look at you," he said, taking a step back to observe me. "I didn't think you could get any more beautiful after you left, but I guess I was wrong."

"Stop," I said, blushing.

"Hi Dad," Arianna said, giving him a hug. She wasn't nearly as excited as me because she had seen him before she came here, but it had been over a year since I saw him last.

"How was your flight?" I asked him as he stepped into the tiny hallway, rolling a suitcase behind him.

"Like hell," he said. "But aren't all flights like that?"

"Especially flights going to LA," I told him. I hesitantly led him into the living room, worried about what he would say about James and Logan. The moment he saw the guys sitting on the couch, Dad gave Arianna and me a look, and we smiled sweetly.

"Daddy," my older sister started, being extra sweet. She was giving them the cue to introduce themselves, and they quickly stood up and came over to us. I told James my dad was big into chivalry and polite young men, and I assumed Logan was told the same thing.

Dad looked at James, and he held out his hand. "James Maslow," he said and Dad's face didn't change. "Sir." Then he cracked a smile and chuckled, shaking James' hand.

"Nice to meet you, kid," he said. "No need to call me sir, though. I just do that to scare you." James laughed, even though he was completely afraid and intimidated by Dad.

"Logan Henderson," the other boy said, and he and Dad shook hands, too.

"You boys have got some firm handshakes. I approve." Arianna and I gave each other a look, and we were just hoping he wasn't going to say anything embarrassing or awkward. "Now, I assume your my girls boyfriends-" James and Logan both nodded.

"Dad," Arianna said through a smile, leaning closer to him. "You're scaring them."

"This is what needs to happen, Ari," Dad said, and we stealthily shuffled into the kitchen. We could clearly hear them, and we could see them if we bent down and looked between the counter and the cabinets. Dad was taking them over to the couch, sitting them down next to each other, then he sat down in the loveseat.

I sighed deeply, then went over to the refrigerator, suddenly starving. When I found nothing to my liking, I went through the cabinets, laughing and doing a little happy dance when I found some Froot Loops. I got a bowl and poured some in, then some milk, before getting a spoon and joining Arianna by the counter to snoop.

"Has he said anything?" I asked quietly.

"Not really. He's just asking them where they work and live," she said.

"Now, you boys have probably already had this conversation with your parents, but we're going to have it again," Dad said, and both James and Logan's face paled a little.

"Oh, this is going to be awkward," Arianna said. I slapped her arm in an attempt to shush her.

"I assume that you boys are being safe if you're with my daughters in an intimate way," Dad said, and I cringed. "Notice I said if. As in I'd much rather you not be doing that now, protection or not."

"We would never take advantage of your daughters, Mr. Dawson," Logan said, and James nodded. "The last thing we need is for one of them to get pregnant."

I choked on the mouthful of Froot Loops for a moment, and everyone looked at me. Holy shit. My dad was going to find out. He was going to find out I was pregnant and he was going to hate me. How did I think he wasn't? He found out everything.

I couldn't blame Logan for saying that, though. He didn't know what was really going on.

"Aud, you okay?" Dad asked, appearing in the kitchen, and I held up a hand as I coughed and took a deep breath.

"I'm okay," I said. He nodded, then went back out to his personal talk.

"Anyway!" he bellowed, making James jump. He gave me a look of desperation, and I mouthed an _I know_. "Maslow! Stop gawking at my daughter, we're having a talk."

"Sorry, sir," he said.

"You need to treat these girls with respect, and listen to them, and ask them how they are," Dad said, and the guys kept steady eyes on him.

And then I realized how freaking awesome my dad was. He knew everything, and how to handle every situation, and he gave amazing advice, just like he was doing with the guys. He knew how us girls worked since he raised three of them alone from ages newborn to four years old. He did it alone, and he did it perfectly.

"You need to help them, even if they don't ask for it, and you need to tell them that you love them," he said, sounding like he just genuinely cared about James and Logan. "Or one day, they'll just wake up and you won't even do anything wrong and they'll tell you to get the hell out."

Arianna and I both laughed, because that was just my Dad. He was the one to say things like that in a completely serious situation.

"Ah, I think I've tortured you guys enough for one day, you're free!" Logan stood up and pulled Arianna out the door with him, and he was either really terrified of my Dad, or he was going to tell her how he felt.

Oh, the magic of parents.

Dad came into the kitchen with me, and I smiled at him. "You and Arianna are so much alike," I told him.

He smiled back at me, then suddenly his face turned serious. "You're a lot like your Mom, Aud."

"What was she like?" I asked softly, and I knew in about five minutes I'd be sobbing.

It would be this conversation in general, and those damn hormones making it worse.

"She was like you. Always put others before herself, creative and wise, a mother to everyone, really."

I felt the tears in my throat, and I put a hand over my mouth and bit my lip. He was comparing me to my mother, and how I was a mother to everyone, and here I was, hiding the secret that I _was _going to be a mother.

"I wish I could've known her," I choked out.

"She would've been so proud of you, Autumn. And I know she's smiling at you right now. You're halfway done college, you've got a book coming out, and you have a pretty cute boyfriend."

I laughed a little through the tears, and Dad pulled me in for a tight hug, and I hiccupped into his chest. I knew I probably should've told him I was pregnant, that he was going to be a grandfather, right now, but a part of me said to wait until later.

After composing myself enough to pull away, I went into the living room where James was quietly sitting, spaced out. I sat down next to him and he pulled me close, kissing my head. "You okay?" he asked softly, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Yeah," I said.

"You ready for your party tonight?" he asked now, and I sighed.

This was going to be a life changing night, but all I really wanted to do was go into my room and watch TV under the covers all night. But I had a big party, that was going to either make or break me as an author, and I knew that within a few hours, I'd be excited as ever.

"I think so."

(Page Break.)

Arianna and Logan came back about twenty minutes after they left, both smiling, and after I gave James a kiss goodbye him and told him we had to talk later, which he agreed with, he and Logan left, telling us to not be late to the party. I went to Arianna's room with her, so Dad could use my bathroom to get ready, and I lay on her bed as my older sister took a shower. Her room was much smaller than mine, all that was in it a bed with one night stand, then a dresser right inside the door, perfectly enclosed in a wall with made the room look bigger.

She had make-up all over it, scattered around the TV, and a big suitcase and carry-on on the floor, both opened with clothes falling out of them. On her night stand was her cell phone charger, a book, and her camera. I picked it up and turned it on, then went through them, just out of curiosity. The beginning had a bunch of the scenery, and funny signs and stuff like that, but the newer ones were of her and Logan, and I smiled. They were so darn cute together!

I turned it off, then set it back down as I stared up at her ceiling, hoping tonight would go well and nothing outrageously horrible would happen.

"Hey, Aud?" Arianna called from the bathroom.

"Yeah?"

"Can you look through my suitcase for my strapless bra? I'm going to need it, and I forgot to look for it earlier."

"Sure," I said, then went over to her suitcase on the floor and sat down in front of it. T-shirts and tank-tops were crumpled up in the corners, while dresses and heels lay perfectly on the bottom. It was clear what my sister's priorities were. I found her nude colored bra, then picked it up and set it on the bed next to her strapless red dress she had bought a few weeks back with me.

Arianna came out of the bathroom, wearing her robe, and brushing out her wet hair. I left her room to see if Dad was done using my bathroom yet so I could get ready. He was coming out of my room, dressed in khaki's and a button down, and I smiled at him.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"It's all yours sweetheart," he said, going over to the living room and grabbing his laptop.

It only took me two full hours to get completely ready, and by the time I was finished it was a few minutes past six. My party started at seven, and Jenna told me a car would pick me, Arianna and Dad up at six fifteen. We headed down to the lobby, and I purposely pulled Arianna back with me so I could talk to her.

"Do I look okay?" I asked her, in a low voice.

I was wearing that adorable white, flapper looking dress, and my hair was curled a little bit was pulled back while the rest fell over my shoulders. I had some makeup on, more than usual, but it didn't look like I was wearing much, and I had on gold heels. Thank god my feet weren't swelling yet or I wouldn't have been able to fit in them.

"You look great," Arianna said, linking her arm through mine and continued walking so Dad didn't get suspicious.

"I'm not showing?" I asked, running a hand over my stomach.

"No. It's only been three weeks."

I winced at the last two words. Only three weeks. Yet the past three weeks sucked already. I didn't think I could handle nine months of this.

"You're positive?"

"Your tummy's still completely flat," she assured me as we walked out the door. "Not even a slight bump."

I nodded and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as we got into the black town car sitting in the parking lot. On the way there, I kept mostly quiet, unless Dad was asking me a question. He seemed to be taking a liking to LA, and I was glad. I wish I was happier he was here. If this was three months ago, I wouldn't be able to shut up about everything.

I was talkative, I really was, but lately I just started to feel less confident about myself. It wasn't because I was unhappy with being pregnant, because over the past few days, I'd really understood what was going on. I was lucky to be pregnant, because some people couldn't do that. Even though this was completely unplanned, it wasn't a mistake. I loved the little baby inside me, but since I was keeping this a big secret, I became quieter so I didn't spill the beans.

When we got to the hotel my party was at, I told Arianna and Dad to go inside, because James was going to meet me outside. They didn't think anything of it, and they walked inside once we got out of the car, and James was standing by the door.

He smiled at me, and I smiled back, genuinely glad he was here. He hugged me tightly, his arms around my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me up for a brief moment and I giggled, before he put me down. "You look gorgeous," he said, his hands on my back.

"Thanks," I said, blushing. "You look pretty darn cute yourself."

He was wearing black skinny jeans, a crisp white button down and a gray vest over it. I had to admit, James had a nice style.

James grinned, then leaned down and kissed me gently, and I kissed him back. "You excited?" he asked after pulling away. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked toward the door, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I am. I'm excited for everyone to see the final product."

"I'm sure it'll look great," he assured me as we walked down the hall, then into the room where my party was being thrown.

The room was a lot larger than I thought it was going to be, and it was dimly lit, with tables all around, food and drinks everywhere. There were a lot of people here I didn't know, but the guys were here and I went to say hi to them. I introduced Dad to all of them, then took him to meet Jenna.

"Mr. Dawson, it's a pleasure to meet you," Jenna said. She was wearing a black and white dress that was pretty tight and I thought no one over thirty should wear. She looked completely different than what I saw her at the office.

"You, too, Mrs.…"

"Ah, Ms." she corrected. "Warwick."

"I'm very glad you gave my daughter this opportunity, _Ms. _Warwick," Dad said.

"Your daughter has a great talent not many people have in publishing now. Her work is truly magical." I smiled bashfully, heat rising in my cheeks.

Maybe tonight wouldn't turn out so badly.

(Page Break.)

It was around ten, and I had already met all the people Jenna had invited and I mingled with the few people I knew. I was really enjoying myself, and I wasn't thinking about what Dad would say when I told him I was pregnant, or anything else. I was focused on my party, and having fun with my friends.

It all became a blur, of gossiping and taking pictures with camera's that had bright flashes, and laughing until we cried.

Around eleven, Jenna said a few things about me and my book, then I stood up and did the same. I thanked her for a great opportunity and for everyone who had been there to help me with it and that I was excited for everyone to read it (that one was mainly focused on the girls.)

I said goodbye to everyone as the left at different times, and James stayed with me until the end, unlike Arianna and Dad who left a few minutes before midnight. After the last person had left, it was just James, Jenna and I, and I was so ready to go to bed.

Jenna gave me a few more compliments and I thanked her for everything, then James and I headed outside. "Did you have fun?" I asked him as I walked to his car with him.

"Yeah," he said and I smiled. He leaned against his car and wrapped his arms around my waist, and I rested against him.

"Good," I said, playing with the wispy hairs coming off his forehead.

I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to think of a good way to start that serious conversation. We hadn't had time to have it before, and it needed to happen now.

"I have to tell my Dad tomorrow," I said softly, touching one of the buttons on James' shirt. "He's leaving the next morning, and I feel really guilty not telling him already."

James nodded, a silent agreement. "Do you want me to come over tomorrow?"

"Don't you have work?" I asked, and he shook his head. "I don't think you should. At least, not while I'm telling him for the first time."

"No, I want to. This isn't just about you," he said. "It's about us."

I looked up at him and I could see the seriousness and sincerity in his eyes.

It was ours.


	23. Announcements!

**Hey everybody! **

** I know this isn't a chapter, and I'm REALLY sorry about that, but this chapter will be replaced with an actual chapter very soon.**

** I just wanted to let everyone know that I started a new story and it's called Growing Up Isn't Always Easy, and it would mean the **_**world **_**to me if you could go read the first chapter! I think all of you readers will really like it. **

** And it would be totally awesome if you could favorite or alert and maybe even review with your feedback? Because I was really hesitant with posting it, and I really want to know if it's worth continuing.**

** So, could all of you be my best friends and go read and review it?**

** And once again, I PROMISE there will be an update of this coming within the next few days. And I'll also be putting up another chapter of I Shouldn't Love You, too. I only have a few more days until school starts, but I know I'll have at least one more chapter for each up by next Wednesday.**

** I love you all, for reading and reviewing and your continued support with this first big story, and I really want to see that for my third multi-chapter.**

** I'm not asking for reviews so the story will look popular. I'm asking for your feedback, both positive and negative, to see what you do and do not like.**

** I hope everyone's having an awesome summer and or beginning of the school year, and I can't wait to see your reactions to the upcoming chapters and the new story!**

** Much love :)**

** *P.S. if you review on this update, you won't be able to review once I put up an actual chapter for this. So, either go anon now or log in, then go anon for the real chapter.***


	24. Living a Lie

**Hello all you cutie pies! Sorry for not having an update in a while. But I was on vacation and got back last Saturday and I've been doing some stuff and just AHH! And this might be the last update of this before the school year starts. And I'm at my grandparent's house because I lost power during the hurricane, so for the past few days I've just been hanging out. And then once the school year starts, I want to try and update this and I Shouldn't Love You on Thursdays and Fridays. More information about new updating times will be known once I start school.**

**Also! I started a new story for those of you who didn't read the update on this I started a new one and it's called Growing Up Isn't Always Easy. That story will be update on…let's say…any day I'm free to write. Haha.**

**But once again, I really want to thank all you guys for the support on both of the multi-chaptered stories, and for my new one. I got seven reviews and I think 10 alerts and a few favorites which is AWESOME! I think that's the most popular first chapter I've had :)**

**ALSO! An update of I Shouldn't Love You will probably be up later tonight. I wrote half of this chapter and the newest one for ISLY, and then just finished this and now have Wi-Fi, so now the stories can be updated :)**

**Like always, I've said too much, and I feel like I should write a weekly blog or something so you guys don't have to sit here scrolling through my rants, but uhh...no one would read it!**

**Kisses and hugs to all you adorable people out there. MWAH!**

"Come on sunshine, get up! You're wasting the day away!"

I groaned as I heard my Dad's voice tear into my mind and awake me from a peaceful sleep. I groaned even louder as he pulled the curtains open and my room flooded with sunlight. I rolled over into my pillow, and Dad poked at my legs, just to annoy me.

This was something he always did on the weekends when Arianna and I were in high school, to get us up out of bed before ten to go for a run. I'm sure he woke her up before he came in here.

"Daddy," I whined, pulling my blankets up further, only to have him pull them down.

"Come on, Aud, get up!" he said. "We can go for a run like we used to."

I sighed, rolling onto my back again and sitting up on my elbows. I know he missed how close we were back in New Jersey and all the things we did together. Running in the mornings whenever we got a chance was definitely one of them.

I was about to answer when I suddenly felt queasy, and I put a hand over my mouth and tried to calm myself down. But the next thing I knew, I was jumping out of bed and running into my bathroom, everything that was in my stomach now in the toilet.

I cringed, then stood up slowly, only to feel light headed. I held onto the counter and Dad appeared in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Autumn, are you alright?" he asked, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.

I nodded and wiped the side of my mouth on the back of my hand. Now would be the perfect time to tell him the news, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. "I'm fine," I said, pushing past him and leaving my bedroom.

I went out to the kitchen and got a glass of water, downing it quickly, then I took a few deep breaths. I already hated morning sickness.

I started searching around the room, looking for something to eat, anything really. "Aud!" Dad called from the living room, and I sighed, then left the kitchen.

"Yeah?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't want to talk about what just happened.

"Is James busy today?"

Oh _shit. _This was even worse. He probably wanted to have some sort of bonding thing, just so he could scare James out of sleeping with me.

Too late.

I shook my head and said, "No. He has the day off."

"How about you give him a call and tell him I want to spend some time with him," Dad said.

"Or better yet, how about I call him, and then we can go to brunch or something?" I suggested, heading to my room.

"Aren't you sick?" he asked, following me. I picked my phone up off my bedside table, and glanced over my shoulder at Dad, who stood in the doorway.

"I don't know what that was," I lied easily. "But I feel fine, I promise. And I wanna spend time with you."

He sighed, not really believing me, but nodded. "Alright."

I smiled, then found James' number in my phone and clicked send. I paced around my room as I listened to the ringing, then I sat down on my bed after I heard the click.

"Hello?" James said groggily.

"Hi babe," I said. "Did I wake you up?"

He cleared his throat, and I heard the ruffling of his sheets on the other end. "No," he said. "I was just resting."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling tears come to my eyes. "I didn't mean to an-"

"Whoa, Aud, it's okay. Don't cry."

I hiccupped and wiped my eyes, a few more tears falling. God, all these pregnancy side effects were hitting me on the same day. First morning sickness, now mood swings. Hopefully when I was with Dad later this wouldn't happen, or else I was sure he would find out I was pregnant.

"I'm sorry. It's just- mood swings," I said, laughing a little as I wiped my eyes again.

"Did you need something, babe? You did call me."

"Oh, yeah," I said, almost forgetting that I did. "My dad wants to know if you want to go to brunch with him."

"Alone?" James said, honestly sounding scared for his life.

I giggled. "No. I'll be there too."

He let out a sigh of relief and said, "Sounds like a plan. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"We'll pick you up," I told him, standing up and walking to my closet. I was just hoping that I could fit into my jeans. I mean, why wouldn't I? No, I didn't want to feel all fat today.

"Okay," James said, and he sighed again. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," I said, fingering through my dresses for one that was loose. "I had a little morning sickness earlier, but now I feel fine."

"Well that's good," he said. I found a floral dress that had cute sleeves that covered my shoulders, and had a little V-neck on it, and I took it off the hanger and brought it into my bedroom.

"Yeah. I guess we'll pick you up at-" I glanced at the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was almost ten fifteen. "Eleven."

"Sounds good. See you then," James said.

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you too, Aud. Bye." With that, he hung up and I heard the click, then threw my phone onto my bed.

* * *

Dad and I pulled into James' driveway a few minutes before ten, and I got out of the car and headed to his front door. I knocked three times, then waited for a few moments. James opened the door, only wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and a dark belt to match. He had a dark blue button down in his hand and white socks on his feet.

"Why do you answer the door when you're only half decent?" I asked as he opened the door wider so I could step in, and he shut the door behind me.

"Half decent? What the hell are you talking about? I'm all decent, all the time," James said cockily. "Look at this." He pointed at his abs, and I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up," I said. "Put on your shirt and let's go."

He smiled, then kissed me gently before sliding his shirt on. "Will you get my phone for me? It's on the island."

"Sure," I said as he buttoned up his shirt and went upstairs to go find some shoes. I walked through the living room and went into the kitchen, then picked up his phone before turning the light off.

The background of his phone's locked screen was me from the beach when we went for the day only a few weeks after we started dating. I was wearing a black bikini that had braided halter straps. I was standing on the sand, my wet hair falling over my shoulders, a hand on my hip. I was smiling, at what I thought was just James, unaware he was taking a picture, but I did look cute.

I smiled to myself then went back to the foyer and James was walking down the stairs. "Here's your phone," I said, handing it to him.

"Thanks," he said, then kissed my cheek and we headed outside. We got into my car, my Dad driving, and he told James and me to sit in the back.

We ended up at some restaurant my dad had heard a lot about, and we decided to sit outside since it was such a nice day. We sat at a round table, the sun not hitting us directly yet, and there were a few other people outside. Surprisingly, not many people were out and about on whatever street we were on at eleven on a Friday.

We ordered our drinks, and for a minute or so we just sat there, reading over our menus. I was feeling a little weird about what Dad might bring up.

"So," Dad said after our waitress dropped off our drinks and took our orders. "How long have you two been dating?"

I looked over at James, and he looked back, smiling a little. "A few months," I said.

"How many is a few months?" Dad asked.

"Since May," I corrected.

He nodded. "How old are you again?" He stared at James for a moment.

"Uh, twenty. My birthday's coming up in about a week," James said.

"And do you plan on getting intoxicated?"

My eyes widened and I glared at Dad. "Dad," I said through gritted teeth.

"Uh, no sir, I didn't plan on it."

"Do you plan on sleeping with my daughter?"

"Dad!" I said, blushing furiously, and James' face was its own shade of red. It looked worse than it did because he had rosacea and whenever he blushed it got twice as dark.

"Autumn, this is only for you welfare," Dad said.

I sighed shakily, not wanting to start crying because then Dad would seriously know my secret.

James cleared his throat and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "No," he said. "Your daughter means a lot to me, and I don't want to rush her into doing anything like that."

I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my head, realizing that now James and I, mostly me, were living in a lie, and we had my Dad completely fooled.


	25. Nightmare

**I know it's late for a Sunday, and I literally just wrote half of this now, which is why I won't be ranting tonight.**

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**Things are getting really angsty now and we're finally at the climax. Enjoy!**

"James, I can't do this anymore," I admitted. I was sitting on the couch in his living room, and he sat next to me with his guitar. He told me he was working on some song, and for the past few minutes we'd been sitting here, me silently, and him strumming his guitar, trying to get the right rhythm.

James whipped his head to look at me, and he looked truly terrified. "You don't mean-" he gestured between the two of us.

"No, James, no," I said, scooting closer to him. "Not that." He let out a relieved breath, then set his guitar down next to him.

"Then what is it?"

"I can't live this lie anymore," I choked out, blinking my eyes to keep the tears away. "It's fucking killing me."

James nodded, then pulled me to him and I buried my head in his chest.

"He-he's leaving tomorrow and I can't do this anymore. I need to tell him, James. I have to."

"Shh," he cooed, rubbing my back. "We'll tell him, I promise. Just calm down, and when you're ready, we'll go over to your apartment and tell him."

I shook my head and sniffled. "I can't now. I'm too stressed. Tomorrow morning."

"Okay, darling. We'll tell him tomorrow."

* * *

It was midnight when I woke up, and I was lying on James' couch, my head on his chest and his arms around my waist. I don't remember falling asleep, much less ending up in this position. The TV was still on, some college football game on, and I didn't remember the channel being changed either. I yawned, and moved a little to get more comfortable, and then winced, feeling a horrible pain in my back. I closed my eyes and forced myself to sit up, and James woke up, seeing as though I was using his body to brace myself.

"You okay, babe?" he asked, his voice raspy. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and I nodded as I stood up slowly.

"Yeah," I said, even though I had no idea what was going on. "My stomach just hurts." He nodded, figuring it was probably just morning sickness, and I went down the hallway to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I flipped on the light, grimacing at the brightness, but I didn't feel woozy. But I felt weird and uncomfortable. I unbuttoned the jeans I was wearing, then pushed them down and my stomach dropped at the sight of blood staining my underwear and the dark denim.

"Oh my god," I said to myself, and felt my throat closing up. Please, _please _tell me this wasn't what I thought it was going to be.

No, it couldn't. This was probably normal. But why was I in so much fucking pain right now? That couldn't have been normal, especially not for someone who wasn't even a month pregnant yet.

"James!" I screamed, my voice breaking from tears. "James!" I shakily brought a hand up from my thigh, just to make sure I wasn't bleeding from anywhere else, and I gasped and fixed my jeans.

"Autumn, what's wrong?" James yelled, and I could hear him practically running down the hallway. When he appeared in the doorway, he looked terrified, and I fell into his arms and tried to speak, but I couldn't. "Why is there blood on your hand?"

I looked up to him, breathing heavily, and got out to words, "Hospital. Now." And then his faced paled, and he seemed to just _know _what I was thinking. The same horrid thoughts.

"Okay, we'll get you there," he said, his voice scared and I tried to walk with him, but I just couldn't, instead crying out in pain. James picked me up in one swift movement, although he was careful not to touch my hips and thighs too hard.

I clung onto him and buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing into him. "James," I begged, in so much pain. Nothing had ever hurt this bad in my entire life.

"I know, love. I know. We'll be there in ten minutes," he promised, and then I was being put into his car, and I closed my eyes and let the pain get the best of me.

* * *

I woke up again to a steady beeping, and at first, I just laid there, awake, but my eyes still closed. I was so, so tired and my throat was dry and I felt empty. And then I knew what had happened.

The worst thing that _could _happen to an expecting mother. Oh, god, I thought but pushed the tears away.

I heard voices, a lot of different voices, and could clearly make out James' as he said something in a soft tone. Then I heard Arianna's, and I was happy she was here. But then I heard my dad's, and my stomach dropped.

He didn't even know I was pregnant, but now here I was. He didn't even know that he was going to be a grandfather. God, what kind of daughter was I?

I opened my eyes slowly, and glanced over to my right and saw James sitting next to my bed, in a chair, his hand grasping mine tightly, which I didn't realize until now. His eyes met mine, and we shared a look, shared a silent conversation, and all he did was nod and I knew this was over. Everything was over. I might have thought my life was ruined before, because I was pregnant, but now it was even worse, because that baby that was growing inside me was dead.

What kind of mother was I?

Well, I wasn't one. I was supposed to, and even though at the beginning, I didn't want to be, I adored that little being inside me.

"Aud," I heard my dad say, and he came to my other side and kissed my forehead.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," I sobbed as he hugged me, and I buried my face in his neck. He held me tightly, and I just cried.

"Autumn, shh, it's okay, sweetheart," he cooed softly. "I'm not mad. I could never."

"Daddy, I did what you told me not to do and got pregnant and I didn't tell you and-"

"Shh, stop talking and calm down," he whispered, but his voice was stern.

He rubbed my back and kissed my head again, then let go of me, but I just wanted to be held. I just wanted to cry and sleep and wake up from this bad dream.


	26. Better or Worse?

**Sorry it's been a while since there's been an update of this, I've just been really busy lately. But enjoy this and let me know what you think of it. We're almost at 125 reviews for this story, you guys! That's so exciting!**

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** Also, the next chapter of this should be up in a few days. I know exactly what it's going to be like, and since I've got a couple more hours before I need to go to bed, I might try to get it done now. SO! Keep an eye out for another new chapter in the next few days!**

It had been a week since my trip to the emergency room, a week since I had felt lifeless, a week since the last time I even left my apartment. I'd been in my bed, the blankets pulled up to my neck, and my blinds shut tightly. The first few days were bad, really bad, for that matter. I could not stop crying about this horrible event, about how my future was just gone now. I hadn't slept much; instead just staring up at the ceiling, imagining what it would have been like if James and I had a little bundle of joy to take care of. That usually made it worse, though. So most of the time, I just stared blankly and listened to myself breathe.

My dad had left yesterday morning, after staying here for six more days than he was supposed to. It's not like he could've helped me with anything. No one could. I barely talked to him before he left yesterday, and I'd barely talked to Arianna. She checked up on me every chance she got, asking me if I needed anything to eat or if I wanted to talk yet. Every answer had been no.

So far today, she had checked on me this morning around ten, before she left to go visit Logan on set, and asked me if I wanted to tag along to see James. I shook my head and rolled over, putting my back to her, and she told me to call her if I needed her, and then she told me she loved me and left.

The first night, I'd stayed over at James' house, keeping him up all night. I sobbed into his chest, and told him what a horrible person I was, but he tried to say that I wasn't a bad person, that this wasn't my fault. But how could it not be my fault? It was my body, I was carrying this baby.

He'd been working a lot the past few days, and he'd only been here one night this week, on Thursday. He stopped by for a few minutes and just sat next to me, brushing his thumb against my cheek and just talking to me. I hadn't seen him for three, maybe it was four now, days, but he'd text me in the morning and at night, just to let me know he was at work, or at home, and if I needed anything. I always said no, and told him to have a good day at work or to get some rest if it was late.

There was a soft noise out by the kitchen, and then I heard the door closing. A few moments later, my bedroom door opened and James appeared. He wore jeans and a t-shirt, a jacket overtop, and he smiled a little when I made eye contact.

I sat up and leaned against my pillows, and he sat down next to me. "Hi, beautiful," he said softly, reaching out to gently squeeze my thigh.

"Hi," I said.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little bit better," I told him, sighing.

"Good, good," he said slowly, rubbing his hand over my bare skin. "Are you hungry? I brought you some food."

I hadn't eaten for days. I'd barely been out of bed for the past week, and I could hardly bring myself to do that. But I found myself standing up, and reaching behind me for James' hand, and he took mine gently.

It felt as though I was walking for the first time in years, and that if I wasn't with someone, I would get lost.

On the island, there were a few bags, most of them with some sort of pasta in them, which I wasn't surprised by. It was one of my favorite things to eat, and James knew that, so he just used it to his advantage.

"You look like you've been sleeping a bit more," James said, leaning against the counter and watching me. "You don't look as tired."

"I haven't slept for long," I told him. "Maybe an hour or two."

"It definitely helped," he assured me.

Neither of us said anything for a moment, and I just stared down at my hands. Things seemed better, emotionally, at least a little bit. I didn't want to put too much thought into what I'd gone through again, because the first time it really hit me that I'd had a miscarriage, things didn't look good.

"Do you wanna do something?" James asked, jerking me out of my thoughts. He wasn't asking in an excited manner, but out of curiosity.

I shook my head and swallowed. "I don't think I'm ready yet," I said, and after it came out of my mouth, it sounded like the worst excuse ever.

"Come on, babe, it would be fun," he said, stepping closer. "We could just go walk on the beach. Not many people would be around. Or we could do something else."

"I don't think so, James," I told him, a bit more serious this time.

"Why?" he asked now.

"Because if I go out, everyone will just pity me!" I yelled, suddenly angry at him for asking all these questions. Didn't no mean no? "Everyone pitied me enough in my life already, and I cannot go through that again."

I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair. James didn't understand how much this hurt me.

"Don't you get it, James?" I said, my voice shaking. "Our baby _died! _And you're acting like nothing even happened!"

"Autumn, that's not true!" he said, looking me in the eyes.

"You haven't said one damn thing about being upset about this, and I'm sitting here all alone depressed."

"It's not my fault our baby died, Autumn!" James screamed, and in that moment I'd never seen him so angry.

"So it's mine," I stated.

"I didn't say that," he said back seriously.

"You didn't have to," I said, my sadness taken over by anger.

"Well what do you want me to say?"

I blinked and licked my lips before crossing my arms. "Nothing, James."

"Then I guess I'll leave," James said, then turned and walked toward the door, shutting it forcefully behind him and making me flinch.

And I thought things were getting better.


	27. Just A Few Words

**Hi loves :) I don't have much to say today. Just enjoy!**

** And review?**

_James _

I was excited about seeing my dad, I really was, but then again, I was also anxious. I had a lot to talk to him about, specifically things about Autumn. He knew I was dating someone, I'd told him that over the phone just a few days after we'd met. But he didn't know that she'd gotten pregnant and then had a miscarriage. What kind of son would I be if I told my dad something like that over the phone and not to his face? I'd be such a prick.

I was walking down the driveway and toward the front door, just finishing a six mile run. I hadn't slept at all, and I spent all night playing music and thinking about what a dick I was to Autumn last night. I wasn't trying to be insensitive; in fact I was trying to be the opposite. I didn't want to make her feel like she was insignificant or unworthy of being a mother, because she truly wasn't. There wasn't anything I wanted more than for her to be happy, and she had started getting really excited thinking about having a little baby to take care of. I remember just last week, when I had called her one night, she had mentioned something about seeing cute baby clothes when she was out shopping with her sister.

And now, just to think that's not the case anymore is heartbreaking. Not just for her, though. For me, too. I was upset about this. I'd cried, I would admit it. But I had to man up and stay strong for Autumn, and that was just what I was trying to do yesterday. But I guess I accidentally pushed her a little too far. And then in the moment, I had no idea what I was supposed to do, so I just left. Yep, I'm a dick.

I walked into the house, slamming the door behind me, then I went up the stairs and went to my bedroom. I checked my phone, hoping for a text or a call from Autumn, but the screen was just my background. I sighed, then headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

An hour later, I was out getting some random errands done, and the last thing I had to do was go get some food since there was really nothing at my house anymore. I made it through fairly quickly, getting my usual things, and was getting some fruit when a girl, probably sixteen, came up to me and told me how much she loved the show. Even though I wasn't in the best mood, I loved talking to fans, so I thanked her for the support and she snapped a picture of us with her phone.

After bidding her goodbye, I turned toward the checkout and was waiting in line behind an older woman with a lot of cat food, drumming my fingers on my cart, when I saw the magazine display next to me. Some of them were People, OK!, and Newsweek, but there were also a few teen magazines. The guys and I were on the front of a couple, and underneath them they all said something along the lines of _BTR talks their first big album! _

I remember talking to numerous magazines about the songs on the first cd, and about the show, and everything else along the lines of work. But there was one magazine, and in the corner at the very bottom, I'm glad I looked closely or I would've missed it, there was a picture of me and…Autumn.

I picked it up, then flipped through it before I found the page entitled _Big Time Love? _I rolled my eyes at the cliché name, but continued to read what the magazine had to say. _Our cameras have spotted Big Time Rush hottie James Maslow and a mystery girl out together several times. We've seen them at the beach, events, and even out to brunch with her dad! Who is this mystery girl, you might ask? Her name is Autumn Dawson, and she attends UCLA, but just scored a book deal. _

I just stared at it for a moment, and then below, there were three pictures, all with their respective captions. The first one was from us at the beach a couple weeks back, when we were coming out of the water and we were both laughing at something, I couldn't tell you what. _James and Autumn were spotted having a fun-filled date at the beach by Santa Monica Pier. _The second was one of us standing outside the building where her party was held not too long ago. It was taken from behind, she was in that gorgeous white dress, and it was when we were walking inside, my arm lovingly around her waist. _According to a source, they have "a genuine relationship already," even though they've already been together a few months. _And the last was a shot taken of me, Autumn and her dad, sitting at an outside table at the café we'd gone too. Autumn's dad was talking, and we were both laughing. _Autumn's dad was in town for her book release party, and by the looks of it, James is already like a part of the family. He hasn't confirmed that he and Autumn are dating yet, but we wouldn't be surprised if within the next few months we heard him break the news. We wish them the best of luck!_

Genuinely, I was shocked at the information they had. I hadn't said a word about dating anyone to anyone in the media, and I know Autumn hadn't either. It was kind of weird seeing us in a magazine. I shook my head, then set it down and checked out.

* * *

My dad arrived around six, and for a while we just talked about the show and recording and things like that, but as it got later, I kept getting bothered by the fact I hadn't spilled the news to him. And I really wanted to tell him, because maybe he could give me some advice. I'd told him a little bit ago I was dating a girl, and I told him a little bit about Autumn, and he said she sounded like a sweet girl and hoped to meet her before he had to leave.

"Dad, can I tell you something?" I asked him. We were in the living room, and some college football game was on, and he sat at the end of the couch.

"Of course, James," he said, turning to me. I took a deep breath and just hoped he wouldn't get angry at me for this.

"Autumn was pregnant," I blurted out before I could go into some rant leading up to it. I looked up at him, and he looked at me confused.

"Was?" Dad asked me, and I nodded. "Meaning she had a-"

I nodded before he could say the word, and then all of a sudden, I felt all the guilt and sadness and anger and grief and everything else rising up and I squeezed my eyes shut. I was so embarrassed to be crying in front of my dad, and so ashamed of myself for not telling him before.

"Did she have an accident or anything?" he asked now, keeping his voice steady as he rubbed my back, trying to comfort me.

I shook my head. "She was over here one night, and she said her stomach hurt and the next thing I knew, she was screaming my name and crying and holding onto me for dear life." Dad hugged me tightly, one of those hugs you don't get often, one of those real man hugs. "I was so fucking scared."

"And it's okay to be like that sometimes, James," he said and I took a deep breath. "You can't always be strong."

"But Dad, I need to," I told him, pulling away. "I got her pregnant, so it was my responsibility to take care of her. She was terrified when she found out."

"And that's normal," Dad said. "There's going to be times in your lives when things are going to go wrong. And while it's important to be strong, it's also important that you tell her how you're really feeling. I'm sure she felt worse than you, for obvious reasons."

I nodded, running my hands through my hair. "We got into a fight last night about it. I was just asking her if she wanted to do something, and then she said I seemed to not care about what happened because I wasn't even a little upset. But I can't be around her."

"You need to, James," Dad said, staring at me hard. "There are gonna be days when things are going to be bad between you too, and if you act like you don't care, she's going to get upset. You tell her everything, alright? You tell her when you're upset."

I sat there for a moment, taking in what my dad had just told me, then I looked over at him. "I just feel like a dick because she never knew her mom and she was just starting to get excited about this and I feel like a fucking failure."

Dad sighed, then put a hand on my shoulder. "She just needs time. She hurts, James. But you do, too. So tell her that. Tell her that you're upset about this too. And talk about it, little by little. Don't rush anything, though. If you can get through something this tragic, I know you can get through just about anything."

"Thanks Dad," I said, hugging him again.

"Ah, it's what I'm here for," he said, and I smiled, then stood up and grabbed my phone off the table. I walked out of the room and went down the hall as the phone rang, and I sighed.

"Hello?"

Her voice was raspy, like she'd been asleep or crying, at this point I didn't know. And for a moment, I didn't know what I wanted to say first. I'd been wrong, done a bad thing in a relationship. I wasn't perfect, and the cracks were starting to show. But she was still here. I knew that was a good sign.

"It hurt me too," I admitted softly, bending my head down. Who knew those few words were going to change my whole mentality, as a man, a lover and a future father.


	28. Normal

**Hi guys! I'm back eep!**

** If you follow me on tumblr, you know that I've been pretty freaking AWOL lately, and I'm SOOOOO sorry about that, and this chapter is so shitty, and it's coming to a really nice end it feels like. I feel like one or two more chapters will wrap this up nicely. **

** As for I Shouldn't Love You, oh god, that will probably have four or five more, I'm sure. A new chapter of that SHOULD be up tomorrow, Tuesday by the latest.**

** Again, deepest apologies for not updating these in forever, and hopefully this isn't just so freaking horrible.**

** Also, if you feel like something is missing, something you wanted to see get tied up, PLEASE let me know in the reviews, or message me on tumblr, and I WILL, I promise you, find a way to put it in so you're happy with what you are reading.**

** As for now, please enjoy :)**

It was three months later, and to be honest, I felt better. I was finally acting like a normal person again. I went out and did things with James and Arianna, and I was smiling, putting behind me the horrible event of a miscarriage but never forgetting about it.

That night James called me, and told me that losing our baby hurt him too was the night our relationship changed. And it made my mind scream out to me that he was never going to leave. I knew it before, but him calling me, in tears after he got out that first sentence that he was going to stay with me no matter. And that one day we'd get married, and live in a big house and have little James and Autumns running around. It was a cute thought. But I didn't think that was going to be happening for a few years.

Either way, I was healing. Not fully better, but healing. I was going to be okay. Things like this happen. _I was going to be okay._

On terms of my book and school, they were both perfect. My book was released in early August, a few weeks before I got back to college, and it sold over thirty thousand copies in the first week, which was absolutely more than I'd ever dreamed.

Most of it was probably due to James and the guys endorsing it non-stop whenever they could, on twitter, in interviews, which meant that everyone knew we were dating. James had told me there was an article about us in a magazine, and a few weeks later, after he was tired of getting bombarded with questions about me, he finally just said that yes, I was his girlfriend.

And yes, it made girls mad. They seemed to be so pissed off at me for stealing the "man of their dreams," and I just had to laugh, because honestly, how many of them actually knew James well enough to fall in love with him? Poor girls, I always thought.

I still went to school, because I'd still feel like a failure if I didn't finish out what I came here for, even though Jenna was always telling me with the way my book was selling, if I wrote another in the next year, I never had to finish school or have another job. But half the fun of life was having the obstacles of school, and having the obstacles of stress. Sure, a lot of people probably wouldn't like that, but I did, and it kept my mind off things when James wasn't around.

Right now, he was on tour with the guys, playing concerts at fairs and endorsing the album with signings and what not. He'd be back in two weeks, and he'd already been gone for three. We Skyped when we could, talked on the phone, did whatever we could, but it was strange not having him around. My apartment was awfully quiet without him on my couch yelling at the TV for no reason at all, or rummaging through my refrigerator, sufficiently knocking over half the things in there.

I was typing up a paper, already curled up in my pajamas and sitting on the couch with my laptop on my legs when I glanced at the clock and noticed it was nine on the dot. I smiled, then logged into Skype, and sure enough, there was James, with the little green dot next to his name. I clicked on it, and called him, and he immediately clicked answer, and then his face popped up on my screen.

He looked gorgeous as always, but his hair was a bit shorter than it was two days ago, which was the last time we actually "saw" each other. He was on the east coast tonight, and he'd be near my hometown tomorrow, and when I told my dad about, he called James with no hesitation and said he wanted to see him before he left. They'd gotten outrageously close since he first came here, which made me really happy, and in turn, I'd met James' dad, who was almost the same exact person his son was.

"Hey beautiful!" James said, smiling and I felt my face heat up, but I smiled anyway.

"Hi," I said, and I could hear the guys talking in the background. He was in a hotel room, sitting at a table, I think, in the corner because in the back behind him I could see a lamp, and the edge of a bed. "How was the show?"

"Crazy," he said, and he meant it genuinely, the best way he possibly could mean it. "It never ceases to amaze me how many people actually show up." Then he laughed, that little James Maslow chuckle of his that I adored so much.

"I love you," I blurted out of nowhere, because it felt necessary, just to let him know, so he'd never forget it.

"I love you too." His tone was the same as mine, happy, laughing, whatever else you wanted to call it. "How was your day?"

"It was good," I said as James messed around with something beside him, his profile almost more flawless than looking straight at him. Then he raised his eyebrows, and a cord came into view, and I asked, "What are you doing?"

"This damn cord," was all he said, still pulling at it, and then he just shook his head and sighed. "Whatever." Before I could ask him if his back was feeling better, since he'd called me earlier this morning to whine about how he'd slept oddly and how it was sore, somebody said something in the background, which made James look over at them. I could tell it was Carlos, but I didn't know what he was saying. I sat there patiently on the other end, and then James nodded and then smiled at me.

"Hey Aud!" Carlos yelled from the other end, waving enthusiastically. "I just wanted to let you know I read some of your book."

"Oh god," I said, embarrassed. I always got like that when people told me they read my stuff, because I honestly felt like it was not good at all, and when people said they'd taken time out of their life to read it, and when they said they _liked _it, I just wanted to be best friends with them.

"No! It was good!"

"Carlos, it was written more for girls ages 16-21," I pointed out and he just shook his head.

"Well, I'm breaking the mold! And I liked the first 30 pages!"

"I'm glad you did," I said sincerely, because for Carlos to read it, that meant a lot. "Thanks."

"If you ever want some crazy shit to write about, just let us know," he said now, leaning down behind James with his arm around his shoulder. "We've got plenty."

James grinned and nodded in agreement. "I will," I promised, and then he disappeared out of view when there was some obnoxious knocking on the door.

"Well," James sighed. "I'd hate to leave you so quickly, but it past midnight and I'm exhausted."

"Oh, no babe, go to bed," I told him. "You need to rest. But before you leave, is your back feeling better?"

"Yes, thank god!" The chuckle again, which made me bite my lip and hold back a giggle. "Feels much better."

"Good," I said, and he smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Then things were quiet, both on my side and his, and I figured the room cleared out. "I miss you." His voice was soft, and I looked at him sadly.

"I miss you too."

"But we've only got ten more days," he added as an afterthought.

"True. Get to bed, I don't want to keep you up," I insisted, and I had a paper to finish, too.

"Okay, okay!" he said, laughing a little. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Alright. Goodnight."

"Night, darling. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said softly. "Bye."

He blew me a kiss and I pursed my lips, "catching" it and then he said, "Bye," before flashing me one last grin, and then the screen went black, and I sighed, and logged off and went back to my paper.

When I finally went to bed later that night myself, I let myself relax. I made it through another day without spontaneous bursts of tears. It happened on the occasion, and part of it worried me, but with research it looked like a normal thing.

But as I felt myself drifting off into sleep, I knew my life would never be particularly normal. And I was okay with that.


End file.
